Practice 4/29/16

Continuing from what I said yesterday, I still have that scratchy feeling in my soft palate, but it's also spread down to my throat/trachea area. The swelling is less scratchy in my soft palate and more sore and painful when I swallow. The area around my throat is scratchy, less sore. My vocal production seems to be fine, with just a little bit of swelling, but it's not outrageous.

I'm not going to do much vocally today, but I'm going to spend a little bit of time vocalizing to test things out.

Lesson 2/26/16.

• Feel a little scratchy as I vocalize. 
• no "preparatory" gesture with the breath. Just think and sing. 
• make sure to have loose jaw/tongue on "beep" exercises. 

~20-25 minutes of warm up. 

I still feel a little scratchy when I sing, but I don't feel like I'm compensating any more than I usually do now that I'm sick. 

I'm just going to say that I'm so grateful that I got sick for my recital this year. It's helped me so much with morale and understanding that if I approach my technique in a careful/precise way, I can still vocalize. I can do hard things! 

Practice 4/28/16

So, starting last night, I got a strange burning/tickling in my soft palate (very isolated sensation), and it feels like the sensation you get when you're pre-sinus infection. The burning/swelling of my soft palate is pretty uncomfortable--it feels like a burning sensation, in which my soft palate is a little bag and it's full of mucus or something because it's all swollen. Even so, my sinuses are dry, and if anything, whenever I breathe in, I can feel the air in an abrasive way on my palate--on the "underside" of my nasopharynx. If that makes sense. It kept me up all last night. When I swallow, I can feel it. I've had this sensation before, so it's not unfamiliar.

That being said, it has little to no affect on my actual voice or singing. The swelling is isolated, but it's also away from my larynx. There's some swelling in my voice, but it's not outrageous--it's maybe just a little more than usual, but it's not full on sick yet. My roommates have had colds this last week, so that may have something to do with it. But besides my soft palate swelling, I feel fine.

I sang in Russian this morning with no warm up, and I feel fine. Like I've said in previous logs, when I'm "sick" or not feeling as well, I tend to have better technique because I'm more aware of unwanted sensation.

Even so, I'm going to take things easy today. I don't want to push anything. I've been gargling salt water and stuff to see if that'll help.

• on back vowels [a o u] be really conscious of what you're singing, and that you're not pushing down in the back of the tongue--you can use tactile feedback by placing fingers under jaw and feeling any tug there. 
• Follow Lesson 4/22/16 
• "Like this"!!! Especially with onsets from above. 

Warm up ~30 minutes. 

Practice 4/27/16

• In my most recent lesson, I think one of the most valuable things that I learned was keeping an open throat during my lip trills. I thought I was being pretty good about it before, but I learned how much better it feels if I open up even more. 
• It almost feels like I'm singing in chest voice on my higher notes when I'm lip trilling now because it feels so open. The air flow is uninterrupted, and it feels good! 
• Lesson 2/27/16 Warm up
• Whenever my vibrato decides it wants to do weird things (especially on back vowels), I think about consistent breath pressure, and that seems to help. 
• "like that" - refer to foggy bottom or lip trills. 
• think of opposites for vowels. But there should be no excursion between vowels. 
• "decrescendo" to high notes. It should feel like less, but it doesn't necessarily come out that way. 

~40 minutes warm up 

Emily C. Practice 4/26/16

The first singing I did today was my Russian stuff for class. It didn't go too badly. My Gs and As were a little shaky, but my Fs were solid and easy to sing since I didn't feel any excessive tightening there. 

Lesson 2/27/16 Follow for Warm up 

I keep singing to my left shoulder. I'm trying to stay more conscious of that. 

~20 min. warm up. Feel pretty good today. Things are coming faster than the last couple of days. 

Practice 4/25/16 and Lesson Take-Aways 4/22/16

Allergies are still pretty bad these days. I've got a pretty awesome headache as well.

• Lip trills to warm up. 
• divert breath pressure away from the glottis
• THINK the pitch before singing it. No pre-setting. 

• Follow with Lesson 2/26/16 to warm up. 

• Leson 4/22/16 for additional technique. 
• Open throat for lip trills; helps to practice consistency of breath pressure without pushing
• Don't overdo it with air; you don't need as much air as you think you need. 
• you only need your tongue to articulate consonants. You don't need your jaw (most of the time)

• ~35 minutes warm up. 

Practice 4/22/16

I learned a valuable lesson last night: Don't be an idiot and drink lots of caffeine, especially in the form of soda. It will be a very uncomfortable evening and morning for you. Dry, phlegmy grossness. Ugh. Just don't.

• Follow with 2/26/16 Lesson.
• I also experimented with the idea that Eric Neuville mentioned yesterday with breathing, and thinking of the sternum and thinking down and out and "leaning" against the inside of the sternum. Diverting breath pressure away from the folds?
• Adding breath pressure on sustained notes won't eliminate instability! To stay released on a sustained note, just think "like that" over and over. 
• Follow with 2/27/16 Lesson. 
• Be okay with sounding bad for a bit if you want you sound to change!
• Sing on the gesture of the inhale/suspension

Warm up for about ~20 minutes. Feel great. Gotta go to the candidate meeting! 

Practice 4/21/16

Allergies are still very much a thing. Same with phlegm. But it's not too bad today.

• Yawning/cow chewing exercises for space exploration. But don't shove the jaw down for sound. 
• "Foggy bottom" -- Refer to Lesson 2/26/16 and 2/27. 
• BE LIGHT. If there's any sensation of "ceiling" on vibrato or pitch, LIGHTEN UP. Be patient. 
• Not too much excursion with vowel change; think same space, but different vowel. There shouldn't be a noticeable sensation of soft palate "movement" between forward and back vowels. 

Spent about an hour following along to the lessons and getting into a better place. I really need to be patient. Don't work for a sound. Do it for the sensation of nothing. 

Practice 4/20/15

4/20 BLAZE IT. I've been working on getting high.... in my pitch approach. (har har har)

Today, I'm feeling some tension in the back of my tongue, and I feel like my vibrato is a little stuck in my throat. Yesterday, I sang in Voice Area Recital Hour, and it was better, since I was more committed to my breath, I think. I'm making it a goal to really REALLY think about what vocalizes I'm doing and why I am doing them. I try to do that regularly, but I need to be creative with my exercises, rather than just following along to a lesson and hoping that something in there will help me.

• yawning to become familiar with the space
• open mouth chews
• Since my vibrato has been feeling a little low, I'm trying [n] sustained nasal exercises [ni ne na no nu]. 
• Plug ears for extra sensory attention. 
• Also, remember "opposite" vowels. [a] forward, [i] back, etc. 
• Light on high, don't think about vibrato. Just let it happen. 
• Plugging my ears here helped me recognize that the "impenetrable" roof on my vibrato is because I was closing up in the back. Allow the resonance space to open back, then up. At least, that's what's helping me now. 
• It's also because something from below is coming up, intruding on that space. So focus on "like that" with openness and soft molars. 
• Lean forward for deeper breath gesture. I'm feeling a little short of breath (probably because I'm hungry + allergies). 
• semi-occluded vowel exercises [u] on descending patterns. 
• be generous with air, and open up vowel to [a]
• Think unicorn horn
• Think of internal space as well. Don't close down. 
• Take your time on note to note movements. REALLY THINK of open throat and ease. Move on to 5432123454231
• Watch that you don't sing to your left shoulder. 
• The air stays consistent on every vowel/consonant. 
• [li le la lo] 5342312713531. No dramatic shifts between vowels/pitches. 
• AIR stays the same. Think of breath consistency with pitch riding on top. 
• 1358531 "may oh may I" Remember, lighter as you ascend. 
• Try bending forward as you ascend. Remember, stay LIGHT. "Like this"
• Did some wobble exercises

I've spent about 45 min. trying to find the release that I want, but it's just not coming. It's gotten better, but I haven't "settled" into that place of ease quite yet. Typically, when this happens and I give up and just go to my music, it's easier to settle in and figure out my technique. Is it breath? Is it mentality? I don't know. It still feels a little forced though, so I'll try and be more careful. 

Practice 4/19/16

I woke up with an itchy throat since one of my roommates decided they wanted to keep their window open all night. So my allergies were pretty gross. But I took Mucinex, and I'm feeling a little better. There's some airiness in my voice, and I can feel a little bit of jaw/tongue tension in my speaking voice this morning.

Lesson 4/8/16 Listen.

• Take time with your breath. I tend to think too much up, and not enough "clothes line" balance. 

I'm getting that same habit of finding the high, but not balancing it out with low anchoring, so I feel so unstable, and that my breath is non-existent. I don't know how to describe the physical sensation. It's like I'm singing with the edge of my voice, but it's coming out "misty" or diffused. 

Perhaps open the entire throat, including naso-pharynx and back of the pharynx, extending down into my sternum (as a visual). I did some jumping jacks to get re-engaged to my lower breath gesture, and that helped. 

Practice 4/18/16

Allergies and chest congestion are at it again. Voice has been feeling a little low for these past couple of days because of that, I think. Working at Old Navy with all of the dust also makes things a little worse, too.

Lesson 4/8/16, refer to Practice 4/13/16

• First thing I notice about vocalization: the phlegm feels very obstructive, as if there's a heavy weight in my chest. Secondly, my voice sounds phlegmy, like my sound is muffled. So that's weird. No pain or anything accompanies. Just dampened sound at the moment. 
• Focusing on not pushing through to make a sound. Just allow the sound to happen. 
• I thought about being more generous with my air. 
• Intermittent yawning exercises.
• Take your time! Especially when you feel like you can't breathe... And when the sound isn't exactly releasing/coming out the way you want it. Be patient. 

This obnoxious phlegm feels like it's sticking to the back of my lungs, and I feel like I should cough, but coughing hurts, so I'm not going to....

• Watch that you don't collapse in your ribcage. This helps with eliminating unnecessary breath pressure, especially with my voice being so "dampened." 
• Don't set up. Think it first. 
• Watch for precise onset. No "hiss" of air before. This includes EVERY note onset, not just the first one. 
• WHOA. So, the phlegm is definitely on my folds, and it's sticky. Still no vocal discomfort, but that's definitely what's been making my voice sound so weird. I was singing a note, and a glob of it made the pitch bend and it felt kind of funny. So that's fun. I'll be taking Mucinex as soon as I get home. 

I'll be back later tonight to practice more since I'm out of time. 

~30 min. warm up. 

Practice 4/15/16

Voice just feels a little phlegmy. Really physically tired, even though I've been trying to sleep more. Started out with some lip buzzes.

• Lesson 4/18/16 
• Also referred to practice blog on 4/11/16. 
• gentle high
• back molar space
• think opposite space for vowels. 
• Think of the back molars forming those vowels
• precise onset of air/sound
• don't preset. 
• take time with breath
• When you're switching from [a-i], it feels like the space is moving around in my skull, but not in my mouth with my tongue. 
• Remember, open throat, not just molars. 

~25 minutes warm up. 

Practice 4/13/16

Exhausted today. The choir event last night kind of left me pooped physically. Not quite vocally, but I didn't have the best technique last night either. Also, I think I'm recognizing that I get heartburn--I just never knew what that strange constricting/very light burning sensation was in my chest. How exciting. Allergies have also been a pain, so I feel constantly swollen/congested in my nose and chest. My jaw is also super tight from the bus ride yesterday.

Lesson 4/8/16

• Think of what you want. THINK. Focus on the good. 
• Think of opposites for vowels. [i] has most space in the back, etc. 
• Back molar space. 
• Precise onsets. 
• Think of there being an air cushion inside the cheeks as you do the [i e a o u o a e i] 543212345 exercise. Maintain molar space as well, but don't force the jaw down. Just be aware of the space. 
• Allow yourself to get lighter as you ascend. 
• I worked on some vowel ascending exercises, and my open vowels sound a little weird. The timbre seems too bright, and not rounded/dark enough. 
• I don't want to force darkness into the sound, so I'm trying to figure out how to modify the vowel to more of an [o] (for [a]) as I ascend. Think the [o] space, but sing that [a] into it. Don't make the [o]. Just thinking. Allow the [o] to permeate the upper soft palate as well. 
• yawning exercises. This softened the sound significantly. 

Spent about 25 minutes warming up. Feel much better after singing for a bit than I did before. 

Practice 4/11/16 + Lesson 4/8/16 Takeaways

These last couple of days I've had this constant phlegm sitting on my folds, and I always feel like I have to clear my throat since it's so mucus-y. I remember to take Mucinex today, so hopefully that will help some things. Probably allergies. Throat feels a little itchy too. Especially when I sing sometimes.

Lesson:

• "pree" 54321. Pay attention to where the [i] sits in relation to the [r]. 
• Think of timbre as you descend. 
• take your time with breath. 
• THINK what you want. No presetting. 
• Think of "opposites" for vowels. [i] has the most space in back. 
• Back molar space. 
• Keep elements of previous vowels in the next vowel so that there isn't as much of an excursion between vowels. 
• It's okay to sing the higher notes with less weight; when you add volume, don't shift positions. Allow that same released position to happen. 
• Tries [zi ze za zo zu] 123456789-9-9-9-987654321-1-1-1. 
• I was trying to do an ascending exercise, but everything felt pretty draggy, so I added buoyancy with literal "bounces" on the 1, 5, and 9 pitches, and that really helped. 

Warm up ~30 min. Feel pretty good after all that. Voice definitely feels swollen to some degree, but it's not too bad. Just a little uncomfortable. 

Practice 4/8/16

Woke up with acid reflux this morning. A little phlegmy.

• lip buzzes
• "ning" 5432123454321 + crazy face + exaggerated high cheeks
• [i] damn it!!
• each reiteration of "ning" is in the same place. "Like that." Find the good. 
• panting exercises to loosen things up.
• Thing the vowel in the consonant. 
• [li le la lo la] 53423171. THINK the vowel and the pitch. Precise consonant onset with breath.
• 53423127132435421. Allow the back to open up as you reascend. 
• The consonant is the bottom. The vowel opens like the lid on top. 
• "beep" 123454321, singing only on 1 5 1. 
• "zi ze za" 123454321234542312345678987654321. 

I feel pretty okay, but I still have moments when my tongue wants to engage, and my throat feels like it's constricting the sound. So I did that "open glottis/huge tube for a throat" and opened things up a bit while maintaining the higher "ning" and open like / and not =. 

Practice 4/7/16

Still feeling like the root of my tongue is just really heavy, my larynx is jumping all over the place. 

• Started out with lion breaths. Sigh-like, un-directed pitch gestures. Don't focus on pitch for now. Just make some sound. 
• I looked back on some of my old notes in my notebook, and I found some things that I liked.
• Soft back molars and upper soft palate edges 
• smile on the inside/diagonal smile
• "top jaw" rests on pitch
• upper lip flabby
• Wobble exercises. 
• Be generous with your airflow

I feel like I can't find the balance between enough closure in my folds and too much pressing. Frankly pretty frustrated. But I'm also very tired again, so my patience level isn't very high. 

• ****"ning ning" 54321 with very scrunched up face, high cheekbones. Do crazy faces to loosen up.
• this helped a lot. Something lifted in the back, and my larynx doesn't feel like death on my closed vowels. 
• Feel like you can do crazy face, even when you're not doing it. 

Practice 4/6/16

Woke up feeling pretty good vocally. Physically exhausted, though. Didn't fall asleep until 3:30 because I was just so restless.

I also feel like my vibrato has been rather "beat-y," and the range of it is a bit too large. I'm also wondering if I'm doing too much "under singing" when I'm by myself, and then when I perform, I push too hard for things. I'm struggling to find the balance between singing too much and singing too little, and as a result, I can't figure out my vibrato. It just gets so distracting in terms of sensation and pitch. Also, on closed vowels, I'm getting frequent glottal scrape, and that's also pretty annoying.

• Don't push your chin down! You tilt your head down too much. Keep upper teeth parallel to floor. A-O joint release. 
• Back molar space! This helped a lot. 
• [i] damn it!!! Think it, don't make it. 
• Watch for evenness of breath, from beginning to the end. (Don't force out the last of your breath. Just think inhale gesture as your breath is being used.) 

Pretty frustrated. That glottal scrape keeps coming in, and I don't feel very patient right now to go a good job. So I'm going to take a small break. 

• Did some plugging ears. Recorded myself for feedback. 
• The back wall of the pharynx doesn't exist. The sound is free to go wherever it wants. 
• Watch that your sound "disappears" before moving to the next note, rather than punching the start of a note. 
• "fish gill" jaw. 

Practice 4/5/16

Today, I woke up with some feeling of "rawness" or "overused edginess" on my voice. It feels a little gravelly/grainy when I vocalize. If that makes sense, so it's a little disconcerting. I just feel like either the dryness of the air or my allergies (or both) have been really affecting my voice. To be completely honest, I'm a little scared to vocalize too much for fear of hurting myself. So I think I'm going to try and take things a little more slowly this week. I just get so excited to work on my music that I think I get ahead of myself.

I still have that sensation of "horizontal squeeze" that I mentioned in my most recent voice lesson, and I've been trying to think of the clothes-line release imagery.

• precise onset/offset of sound. Don't push for space, resonance, or fullness of sound. 
• ****watch for that weird whisper of air that comes out before the tone. 
• "like that." Focus on the good (I've been forgetting to do this recently). 
• "beep" 54321 exercises. 
• I'm noticing some extraneous noise in my voice when I sing, even at a lower level. Not quite sure whether it's swelling or not. It sounds/feels a little grainy. Which worries me a little. It's not like my speaking voice has that gravel sound, though. 
• Therefore, I tried to think more speak with pitch, than singing. 
• Still had some of that "forced airiness" habit creeping back into my voice (which I think is probably the main root of my problem), so I did some humming exercises and nasal work. 
• Worked on maintaining the tone clarity while keeping the throat/pharynx/nasopharynx as released as I perceived it to be before. If that also makes sense. 
• simplify the sound--eliminate vibrato for now. I think the whisper sense comes in when I try to add vibrato. 
• THIS feels much better. Less of that gravel--feels less abrasive. 
• "nam nem nim nom num" Find focus. When opening for vowel, don't dramatically move resonance. Stay in the same general area. Focused. Vowel is a change in the air around you. Don't force the articulators to move to that vowel. Just let it be a thought. 
• Unicorn horn. Thread the needle. 
• Strangely enough, the higher I go, the easier it is to find that focus. 

Question: Cindy, when you feel that gravelly sensation (different from, say, swelling or mucus), should I be concerned about callusing? It's easier to get that glottal scrape sensation in this state as well. 

Practice 3/31/16

Had some pretty bad reflux this morning; I could feel it from the moment I woke up.

• Remember: focus on the good. Also, have equal stretch up and down. Soften the sides for all around release. Singing with the body, not just the throat up. 
• soft jaw, pleasant face. 
• "peg-board" cheeks
• "many" 132435 etc. 
• nasal qualities help focus on releasing/softening the entire naso- and back pharynx. 
• start low enough to get good models 
• it helps (at least, this time) to think of the resonance and surrounding structure softness, rather than forcing the sound into a space. 
• This really helped...... 
• don't force jaw opening. Allow it to just be open. You're more likely to notice it than to force it when it's going well. If that makes any sense.
• Think of the softness stretching upward, staying rooted as you ascend. The tongue is also super fat and soft and gushy. 
• really THINK the vowel. 

~15-20 min. warmup. I feel much better than I have been the last couple of days. The idea of softness stretching is really nice. Still feel like I could use some more focus in my sound, but I'm going to work on that as I get more released. 

Practice 3/30/16

Feeling pretty good this morning. As I was in the middle of working last night (you have a lot of time to think when you're folding clothes for three hours), I thought that maybe I was focusing too hard on trying to make/keep the sound up high, and that was adding unnecessary tension in the root of the tongue and the "lower" part of my sound. So I'm going to try and experiment with that today.

• Elastic in the pharynx stretched high and low.
• This helped me release my jaw as well. 
• fat tongue
• furnace bottom
• Don't push/force resonance. 
• Perhaps think about the space in the low with energy for the high. 
• Take your time! Focus on the good. 
• Suspension = deep breath; release back of pharynx wall. plug ears for extra help. 
• REMEMBER BALANCE
• Calm inhales and exhales. No panicked breaths. Think down and out when exhaling to prevent premature collapse in rips and abs. 

~15 min. warmup. 

Practice 3/29/16

Had some reflux last night. Plus spring allergies. But it's fine. I've been feeling a little bit of tension in my speaking voice, so I'm definitely going to take my time today (I should every day, but I'm going to take extra care with that today....). Referenced my practice log for 3/23/16.

• breath flow is even, but don't make it happen. Just let it flow. 
• big nostrils
• suspension
• sound doesn't start at the glottis! Don't try and force airiness.
• molars floating into the skull

Listen to Lesson 2/5/16 and 2/26/16

When I go to sing, I can tell even before I vocalize that the approach is going to be from below, so I tried a lot of nasal/big nostril things to try and help me get more familiar with the nasopharynx and releasing the entire throat. Ear plugging helped a lot too. 

Practice 3/28/16

The sudden blanket of snow makes me sad on the inside.

Woke up with a little feeling of phlegm in my chest and throat. I've also been taking it easy these last couple days to recover from a little bit of over singing for St. Matthew Passion. But I'm feeling pretty good today.

• Start gently and low. Don't try to push the phlegm out. If that makes sense. 
• yawning exercises. Become familiar with available space. Panting
• nasal/no nasal exercises
• After about 15-20 min. of finding release, I listened to Lesson 3/25/16 to find more focus in my sound. 
• Lighten before high note to help the flip and approach from above. 

Practice 3/25/16

I performed in VRH yesterday, and it definitely did not go as I would have liked. But I know it's because I did too much overthinking and I didn't trust my practice. I was told I was a bit more emotive this time, but that's interesting because I may or may not have been panicking on the inside. Also, I have a tendency to lean my head to the side and push my chin down on higher notes, apparently. That's good to know. Oh, well. I have next time to fix it. Also, we had the rehearsal for the St. Matthew Passion last night, and I was able to get into a place where I could sing the entire show and I felt just fine afterwards; I got out of my throat and nothing felt effortful.

This morning felt fine as well. I didn't drink or eat for several hours before sleeping, so I had no reflux. 

• Last night, when my voice was doing what I wanted, I noticed that my tongue was really fat and touched the back of my lower teeth, and were practically hugging my upper molars. 
• panting exercises; don't shove jaw down. Be light with the air at first. Jaw falls softly, tongue fattens softly. 
• No dramatic change from inhale to vocalization. 
• Suspension
• Make sure that you stay ABOVE. Big nostrils. 
• Wobble exercises. Using earplugs at this point. 

Didn't spend much time warming up, because I felt pretty released from the beginning. Plugging really helps ONLY if I'm paying attention really hard to what I'm feeling. Then I alternate between plugged and not plugged so I can get used to sensation and try to recreate it when I have sound going. 

Practice 3/23/16

I'm guilty of oversinging at last night's rehearsal; things feel a little swollen and scratchy. So I'm going to take things pretty easy for the rest of the day. I think this is going to be an especially good day to spend time memorizing and learning my new music since I get a bit of a break today.

• Start small and simple.
• Lip buzzes
• "bap bap bap" 54321
• To focus more on sensation, I plugged my ears. 
• Helps to get out of that scratchy place
• Think big nostrils. 
• I interrupted this to do some yawning exercises, since I wasn't opening up the way I wanted to on the inside. That, and some panting (always). 
• Back to plugged ears: Be careful to not get lazy. Always think on top of the pitch, or on top of the singing space. 
• "hiyah" 
• Really think that the molars are floating up into you skull. 
• Release the shoulders and temporal muscles

Listen to 2/26/16

• "nyam" "Kiss" the sound. That helps. Don't drag down as you descend. Keep everything up. 
• Don't force any sound. Allow the pharynx to be open and soft. 
• Precise onset. 
• On "way" 8-7654321, I did a bend forward and swing back to standing motion that seemed to help. Sort of like a roller coaster that goes the opposite way of the pitch, and ensures that I'm at the top of the "peak"/pitch for each start. 
• plug ears again. "zi ze za" 123454321234543212345678987654321. 
• keep sensation even, especially with air. Don't punt the ear for high notes!!!! Just think the pitch! NO PUNTING. 
• Watch that you don't push down the jaw either. Perhaps think the upper jaw as the one moving, not the lower one. 
• Watch that you keep the pharynx open on ascending. 
• Switched same concepts to arpeggio exercises. 
• If things start to move to the back, think big nostrils and unicorn horn. 
• Pay attention to where the flip is as you get higher. 

Spent about  45-50 min. taking things pretty quietly and slowly. Focusing more on release than sound, for sure. Volume isn't even a thing at the moment. I feel MUCH better after taking my time today. Did some pretty nice things as far as release goes. The biggest thing I think I can take away from this is keeping breath even. I didn't even realize how much pushing I did before until today. Also, taking your time and really focusing on what feels good and what doesn't. 

The reason I think I do better on "bad vocal days" is because I have immediate feedback when something is sitting too low on my voice. I have a physical aversion to that sensation, so it's easier to notice right away when it's bad. 

Practice 3/22/16

Had a little bit of reflux this morning, but by the time I got to the practice room, I couldn't really feel the effects. My voice feels a little tight from the get-go today.

• panting exercises to loosen things up. 
• exaggerate yawning space to become familiar with open space. 
• "Like this" mentality. Focus on the good stuff. 
• Feeling like there's a long elastic in the back of the pharynx that stretch both up and down helps. 
• Make sure the stretch is equal in both directions. Not over-balanced in one direction. 
• Everything is mental! Release in the body, but active in the brain. 
• Nasal exercises. 
• Listen to Lesson 2/5/16
• "ooo ahhh" 8-7654321 
• pay attention to A-O joint release
• Don't worry about how the voice is going to come together. Just let the folds do their thing. 
• Try to let the voice spin on its own once you've started the sound. 
• internal smile?

After about 20 minutes, I still feel pretty tight; getting that "horizontal squeeze" feeling again, as well as the larynx liking to jump all over the place. I just need to figure out some way to release the back of my tongue again.... 

I tried plugging my ears, and that helps a lot. Released much better, and that squeeze went away. Perhaps I'm trying too hard to create a sound, rather than just focusing on sensation. Good to know. 

Practice 3/21/16

UPDATE: So, it's much later in the evening, after the St. Matthew rehearsal from 7-10 p.m. I discovered while we were singing that my problem is probably just some vocal tension dysphonia. There would be times when my vocal tension would get bad enough that it would be a little painful to vocalize, and I'm familiar with this sort of pain, so I knew what it was. This weird "horizontal" squeezing and the sensation of my larynx jumping into the back of my brain was probably a precursor to the real thing.

That being said, I've tried everything I could think of to get that larynx-jumpy feeling out of my system, so I accidentally ended up trying something knew, which was to sing "into my throat." I was sort of desperate, and I decided the worst thing that could happen is that it would sound bad and feel a little gross. As a result, something in the back of my tongue released, and the sound, strangely enough, resonated up, and vocalizing wasn't a chore anymore. I got to feel the entirety of my throat, rather than just the upper part. I've been focusing so much on upward resonance that I think I forgot to focus on the lower part as well.

I went to a practice room as soon as rehearsal was over so I could try and solidify this free sensation before going to bed. I checked out my face in the mirror as I was doing this, and my jaw was swinging back the way it was supposed to, but it didn't feel like I was forcing it back. In fact, I was rather surprised when I looked in the mirror to see my lower teeth behind my upper teeth. Who knew. There was no feeling of the larynx jumping all over the place, and pitch was just a matter of thought, so that was nice. There's still some residual resonance issues, but it doesn't feel laborious to sing now.

*****************

These last couple of days I've been struggling with finding my approach from above; I still have that weird abrasive/horizontal squeeze feeling when I approach anything around B4-E5 ish. I'm not quite sure how to describe it, but I know that this sand-papery feeling is a result of technique, not from allergies or anything. Perhaps a diffused feeling in the sound, and a diffused feeling in my throat. Although I have been experiencing them as of late.

• Start light, with precise consonant onsets and pitch. 
• Listen to Lesson 2/26/16.
• Don't try to force a sound. Just let it happen. 
• There's a difference between forced airiness and airiness due to swelling. 
• THINK the pitch. Speech-like start for singing. 
• Listen to Lesson 2/27/16
• Try open glottis idea. Foggy bottom, meaning, no pushing for low; let it feel light. 
• doesn't have to be super "resonant" feeling for now. Just release gdi. 

• Okay. This feeling of "furnace" helped me somehow focus my sound better; probably releasing excess tension in the throat somewhere. It takes less effort to find "above" feeling, but I'm still starting out really quiet and building up from there. "ba ba ba ba ba" on 54321. 
• Bite on the apple. 
• Throat is lazy, the brain is not!

Spent about 40 minutes trying to release, but I still revert back into that weird diffused sensation. There are a couple times when I find where I want to be again, which is more focused, higher, and easier to sing, so I'm trying to focus on the good with that... 

Practice 3/18/16

Allergies are pretty bad. Lots of sticky snot that's sitting on the glottis. I think I'll take some mucinex later.

• I did some panting and made sure that my nasopharynx is just as released as the rest of my throat. "li le la lo" 534231271. 
• Precise onset! 
• Think "unicorn horn" with foggy bottom. 
• Have a moment of suspension before singing
• Don't force sound out, even if phlegm gets in the way. 
• Stay open in nasopharynx with open vowels, and stay released in tongue/jaw/bath of throat for closed vowels. 
• "Like this."
• Cue, rather than direct. 
• Think of what you want, and demand that it happens without making it happen. Focus on the good. 
• Precise onset for consonants: "mi si mi" 54321. 
• Wobble exercises. Sound doesn't "originate" with sensation in glottis. Higher!
• Allow yourself to be lighter on higher notes. 
• Legato is bouncy. 

I don't know if it's the phlegm sitting on my folds, but I feel like I have some weird pressing at the glottis, especially when I'm avoiding a beat-y vibrato. But when I stop the pressing, the pressing goes away, but the beating comes back. So I'm trying to find a neutral ground of released but not beaty. 

• Experimented more with thinking "ng" with everything, and keeping "lipstick on mirror" mouth, and swinging back jaw. This helped a lot.
• Experimented with thinking the "top jaw" swings away from "lower jaw," instead of the other way around. This also helped a lot. Just remember not to punt with air. 

25 min. of warm up before singing. 

Lesson Take-Aways (3/16/16) and Practice 3/17/16

Lesson:

• Establish feeling of release first thing! Then pitch readiness. 
• "furnace" bottom
• "yawn": consonants are not a narrowing to get through, but rather a pitch point to depart from. 
• "m" is just the lips coming together before a pitch. 
• Think of higher pitch before descending. Constant feeling of "huh"
• allow the folds to stretch before singing
• Activate the face! Don't be dead. 
• The back of oral cavity also functions as throat, including high arch of tongue! Don't narrow that! (Back molar space and released tongue). 
• "may oh may I" 1358531. Think of the air space around the tongue changing for vowel, but not the tongue. 

Practice:

Started out with some phlegm, but it's very mild. Otherwise, I feel pretty good. Had to do some public speaking this morning, and I could project fine, but my voice was sort of low. Probably because it was early. 

• precise onset of consonants
• Don't push for sound. Just let it fall out. Esp. with depth!
• lipstick stain on mirror
• On arpeggio exercise, don't push with the air! Allow the feeling to lighten and round out on its own.
• "gira la voce"
• pay attention to how the jaw swings back. Don't push down. Swing back. 
• Think of how it feels; don't force a sound. 

I think I lost my connection with my nasal resonance, so I did a lot of nasal/non-nasal back and forth exercises to reestablish that. I think I'm getting too into my "hah" without stretching up high enough either. More teeth? 

I also feel the back of the pharynx "moving forward," rather than staying back and open. Focus on the good!!

I also listened to my 2/26/16 Lesson. Doing the small "nyam" exercises helped me find a method of vocal production that didn't feel "sand papery"/airy on my glottis. 

• Soft molars and jaw.

~40 min. before practicing music. 

Practice 3/15/16

Been having allergies these last couple of days. Lots of snot and sneezing and blowing my nose. So that's been fun.

• panting exercises to get things loosened up. 
• precise onsets!
• feeling of suspension before vocalizing
• don't worry too much about sound! Think about sensation and how it feels.
• Focus on the good. 

Felt some tension in the back of the tongue. I've also been noticing that I've been holding tension in my shoulders, bringing them closer to my ears. 

• "pree" exercise 
• inhale gesture to end the sound, rather than squeezing it closed. 
• Watch that you don't force out the air too much. There is air all around you; don't be afraid of running out. 
• Renee Fleming cheeks.
• "many" 1324354653421 (I plugged my ears) 
• no matter the consonant, always return to the same space; jaw released, back of tongue released, etc. 
• consonants don't need a ton of air; let them spin on their own, just like vowels. Saves air too. 
• Did a vocal "wiggling" exercise to loosen things up more. 
• The pharynx stays open on every note! Even if they're fast notes. 
• Did some 1234543212345678987654321 exercises for vowel uniformity. 
• Remember: open throat (foggy space) and child-like or "large nostril" space above. 

Working on staying more released/less pushy in my lower range. Been noticing some additional effort in order to make a fuller sound, but those notes are inherently fuller, so I shouldn't be pushing more. Esp. with the opera stuff we've been doing, I've been noticing that more.

20-25 min. of warm up. 

Lesson Takeaways (3/4/16) + Practice 3/6/16

Followed Lesson 2/26/16.

• Remember big open space, but sing on the top of it. Don't force the space; just be aware of it. 
• Soft jaw, alive eyes. 

Lesson 3/4/16

• Allow sound to spin; initiate, then let it go. Buoyancy!
• release breath gesture lower into the body, and higher into the head. 
• "yodeling": the only time you're "singing" is when you initiate the sound. 
• As you ascend, get lighter and more yawn-like with your space. 
• Mouth always returns to released/open position, even after closed consonants.
• vowels are in the head; the mouth stays pretty uniform. 

Still felt a little bit "stuck" this morning, so I went back to low, slow, and soft, and that helped a little. 

I sort of have been having this feeling of excess tension in the back of my tongue and jaw, even when I'm just resting, so I'm working on trying to release that. 

FOCUS ON THE GOOD. 

Practice 3/4/16

So, last night, I was too tired to do any real practicing, so I did a lot of listening to old lessons and mentally following along. I did a couple of the vocalizes, and when I took the time to shut everything else out and focus, I did much better. I woke up with a little bit of lingering chest congestion still, and some reflux/vocal swelling, but it's nothing more than the usual.

I'm also experimenting with breath monitoring today; I'm going to wear a shoulder-strap backpack (just lightly weighted) so I can be more aware of my shoulders moving and focus more on energy below the sternum.

Listened to Lesson 2/26/16

• start with low, almost all nasal sound. Small. Transition to "ya" 
• Renee face. 

I think the reason I tend to better on days that I'm sick/have acid reflux I take things slower, and much lighter before working up to using my full voice. Just a thought. 

• precise onset of pitch and breath. 
• soft jaw/cheeks; use more of the brain, rather than the jaw to add focus to the sound. 
• micropanting/nose pants

Listen to Lesson 2/27/16

• "open glottis"
• Coordination over pitch. 
• slippery feeling/supple
• explore your space, not being open and still. 
• Don't focus on how you sing, but that your breath is everything you want it to be "what a great day" 
• drooling face
• maintain foggy every as you go up. 
• Take deep breaths (tracheal tug) while maintaining height!!!
• Try doing gentle "nyam nyam" before 1358531. LIKE THAT. 
• almost all nasal!!!

After about 50 min. of warming up, I'm starting to feel more loose, but there's still some squeezing in the pharynx that I can't seem to be able to alleviate. 

(Okay, as soon as I typed "pharynx" just now, I realized I may have been closing down the upper pharynx. Aaaaaand that fixed quite a few things. Whaddayaknow.) 

BEST THINGS I DID TODAY:

• Start small, "nyam nyam" nasal WITH open pharynx
• foggy bottom w/ child-like top
• soft jaw

Practice 3/3/16

Woke up with reflux, but that's because I went to Beto's at 10pm last night. I was ready for it in the morning. Still have a little bit of chest congestion, but that's also going away little by little. My voice has been feeling low and less released that when I had been sick, surprisingly enough (but also not very surprisingly since I tend to do better on days when my reflux is bad...). Back of tongue/jaw has been pretty tight these last couple days. I've been catching myself clenching. Don't know why, but I just have been. Gonna try and loosen that up today and get my vibrato out of my stomach.

• Listened to 2/5/16 Lesson
• [pri pri] feeling that the windpipe is open. 
• have silence before singing. Be ready. 
• "why not" 8-7654321

Took a step back, decided to take more time in the low-middle part of my voice before going higher. 

• big open nostrils
• foggy bottom
• No shoving down the jaw, but explore your spaces with yawning
• precise onsets "li le la lo" "haaaaahhh"
• panting exercises. 
• "sing" 8-7654321. allow upper/lower pharynx to open, but sound shoots out like a geyser, not sourced out at the glottis. 
• as you descend, imagine upper teeth are stretching out and around the head, as if the hard palate was made of stretchy rubber. 
• Don't force depth in descending notes. 
• Don't force down. It's okay to think up. Trust that your larynx will stay down. 
• switch to "hiyah", don't machine-gun it. Alternate between the two. 
• [a] isn't too far back. open back and up! 
• transitions between consonants and vowels; what that you don't do a quick squeeze. Try "sh" for starters. 
• To get vibrato out of throat, try nasal to normal transitions. 

I have moments that are really good, but I'm finding that I keep getting stuck. 

Something in my tongue doesn't want to release.

• Think of fat tongue. 
• [zi ze za] 123454321234543212345678987654321. 
• Don't shove down jaw!
• think "LIKE THAT" (focus on the good!) as you ascend. 
• Just as in descending, don't push for depth/sound. Let it just fall out. 
• Just think open. Explore the space, don't force it. 
• "drink water" think of long tongue. 

I started getting a little impatient, so I decided to take a break. But I'm getting there. The good things are coming a little more frequently. It's just one of those slower days, but I'll get it. 

Lesson Takeaways (2/26 and 2/27) and Practice 3/2/16

2/26: Super sick, on the verge of crying because my recital was supposed to be the next day. Voice was pretty swollen and phlegmy. Could hardly speak at the beginning of the lesson.

• start with a smaller sound. Think more "savor" than sing. More cuing. 
• child-like sound. Super smiley face. "nyam nyam ya ya" 
• speech-like; there's no preparatory gesture. 
• Find the edge of the fold, esp. on swollen days. 

2/27

• "foggy bottom" + "child top voice"
• "yawning" to explore space, not to make space. 
• Approach from above "like a serial killer." 
• slippery feeling as you move from note to note
• simple sound without sense of closure 8-7654321 "say" 

3/2 Practice: Much less sick than the last couple days. Phlegm is fading a bit, but it feels more like chest congestion now. 

• Stay high, even as you descend. 
• FOCUS ON THE GOOD.
• Be patient. Start low, Go high. 
• Low notes glide out, not forced out. Foggy bottom! 
• soften. 
• OPEN THROAT, tiny voice edge coming together
• There should be no feeling of excursion from pitch to pitch. 
• open upper pharynx as well as maintaining fogging bottom

Practice 2/25/16

Beginning last night (around 8 ish), I started to feel severely dry in the area of my glottis (an isolated sensation), and I'm not quite sure if it was reflux. It could very well have been, because the sensation is a little similar. I woke up with the same feeling, but a little less intense. There's definitely quite a bit of swelling, but it's not super uncomfortable. Just really dry/phlegm-y feeling. (Looks like I'll be having throat-coat and apples for breakfast today....)

Started vocalizing around 8:20 a.m. 

• Gentle/low vocalizes, but focusing on precise onsets. "bop bop" or "li le la lo" 
• "haaaaah" fogging up window throat. 
• offsets are done with gesture of inhale to re-cue the open throat. 
• "nasal dilation"
• Stay high as you descend
• If vibrato gets "wobbly" or low, just think more nasal. 
• "nim nem nam nom num" allow vibrato. Not completely straight, and watch that you don't get shallow. 
• Fat tongue
• Steeple-sensation inside. Point inside the brain. Approach from above. 
• FOCUS ON THE GOOD, TOO. 
• When descending, don't push for depth. Just let the pitch drop while maintaining height. 
• "speed" on slow 54321, Wait behind the "p" and approach from above, maintaing "haaaaaah" concept in throat and upper pharynx as well. 
• This became "spaaaaayahh" 8-7654321, with the same concepts. 
• By the end of this exercise, I could, with relative comfort, sing A5. 

By 8:45 a.m., I felt really good vocally, despite how gross I felt in the beginning. Still feel dry, but I know I can sing around it, so it's not so bad. Still going to take it pretty easy today. 

Practice 2/24/16

Last night, I had a rehearsal with Dallas, and I somehow got to a really good place in my voice that didn't exhaust me by the end of my entire recital repertoire. It felt high and forward, and it was easy to ascend. It was probably from the nasal-to-not exercises I tried beforehand, and that helped trigger something nice.

Today, I woke up with this weird dryness/swelling in my nasal cavity/soft palate area. But as the day went by (I also consumed some warm drinks), the swelling and discomfort went away. Had some obvious acid reflux as well. Voice feels a little dry as a result.

*Focus on the good*

• "haaaaaahhhhh" breath 54321
• Stay high even on low; don't throw away pitch as you descend. 
• Allow low notes to glide out. Don't push for depth. 
• Nasal to non-nasal transitions (Venicia) 
• "sh" for breath+pitch onset precision. 
• Tongue is super fat and released. Think "up and over" for pitch. 
• Watch standing position: sternum up, hips released. 
• "si" 123454321. 
• "like this": 
• *****imagine open pharynx space even on closed vowels. 
• Return to "haaaya." Don't machine-gun it. 
• Approach the middle voice from above, and maintain that forward presence as you descend. 
• Panting exercises for closed vowel practice. 

Practice 2/23/16

Started out the day with quite a bit of phlegm, but not reflux (that I could immediately sense, anyways). My voice also started out super low (probably due to sleep deprivation... got about four hours last night), and it takes literally no effort to sing D3.....

• Panting exercises to loosen things up. 
• I have a tendency to push at the beginnings of phrases, so I started out softly/lightly. 
• I get lazy with descending as well, so I watched that. 
• FOCUS ON GOOD PARTS, EMILY, GDI. 
• I did a lot of shaking my head/jumping to wake myself up throughout this practice.
• "haaahhh" fogging up space in throat and all resonant cavities. 
• Followed along with 2/5/16 Lesson. Sometimes plugging ears is helpful. 
• Don't sing so much in the mouth. Don't feel sensation of pressure at the laryngeal level. 
• Really think the pitch before going down. 
• Followed along with 2/12/16 Lesson. 
• Open upper/lower pharynx, but allow the sound to go up and out like a geyser, not just down into the throat. 

Question: I'm finding more often that my sound feels shallow, or that I'm singing through a narrow space. This is also accompanied by a vibrato that absolutely refuses to lighten up and remains pretty wobbly. What are some things that I can do to alleviate this? It's really quite frustrating.  I've tried "sob" or "haaaaahhh" and thinking of dilated nostrils, but they are no longer as helpful as they once were.

Practice 2/22/16

After yesterday's rehearsal, I read through Cindy's notes and tried to incorporate the things she mentioned in my practice.

• Started out today with quite a bit of dryness and reflux. 
• Buoyancy 
• Think "haaaaaaaahhhh" in the throat (foggy breath space). "Earthy", even while the focus of sound is very high and forward. 
• Anchor high notes with more sense of grunt. 
• Soften the corners of the mouth 
• Try moan/sob posture if sound starts to feel shallow. 

My vibrato is a little strong and wobbly today, so I tried working on the balance of high and low in my singing space, if that makes any sense.
I also tried to focus on what was going well and cueing myself to repeat that with all my other notes, rather than trying to fix the bad things. (This helped a ton....)

• No machine-gunning the notes on descending patterns. Keep things buoyant!
• BIG NOSTRILS!!! This helped a lot too..... 

Lesson 2/19/16 + Practice 2/20/16

Take-Aways:

• Feel a sense of up/down when inhaling (a "dilation" in the nose, and grounding in the breath gesture). 
• It's not about making or space; it's about getting the feeling that the windpipe is open. 
• Breath passageway is dilated
• Feeling nothing in the mouth or throat. Sensation is above. 
• Pause to set up and approach from above using the consonants
• NO push on front of the jaw. Just let it drop!!! 
• Maintain the same shape: "Like this." Don't let vowel changes be so dramatic. 

• Be happy with the journey. 

Practice:

• Take your time. 
• Let the sound out, but don't punt the air. 
• Be aware of open nasal cavity. (Watch for de-nasalized consonants....) 
• I realized that when I descend, I tend to change the shape of the vowel a little too much (I drop too low to compensate for pitch), so I'm trying to maintain height even as I descend. 
• This makes returning high easier as well.... Same with decrescendos...
• Maintain this through the breaths (sing in the gesture of the inhale and breathe into your singing space). 
• Don't worry so much about "being loud." Or about "making" depth. That will come with the sound naturally.... 

Lesson Take-Aways 1/25/16

exaggerated [pri pri pri] 54321

• activated cheek bones, and higher internal space
• don't get lazy with the space/energy as you descend in pitch. 

internal space should always be greater than what you're doing with your mouth..

You can have loose cheeks, but not low cheeks.

Have "interesting person" eyes

"many" 132435465768798..... Soft palate flexibility

"pegs" jaw hanging concept. 

Practice 1/22/16

Don't punt as you go up - allow float up; as easy as if no vibrato.

simple sound

don't be afraid of upper teeth.

• [u a u]: sucky cheeks, then simply open mouth and open up. Allow jaw to softly remain in place. No jamming down
• Imagine pitch location much higher than intended note.
• For sustained lines, think "soft! softer! softest!" So jaw/throat/tongue doesn't harden/stiffen.

Practice 1/21/15

I may or may not have gotten a little too excited and oversang today. But I learned some interesting things.

• Place extra emphasis on being soft in the jaw. I noticed I have a tendency to jam the jaw back/down when I'm trying for long cheeks. 
• Flexible tongue and jaw. Don't get "stuck in a sound." 
• Watch for A-O joint flexibility. I have a tendency to jam my head down as well. 
• "fish gill" jaw that has string attached to the back "hinges" going up. (I don't know exactly what I'm trying to write, but I understand it in my head, and it helps me from simply jamming my jaw down, which I think contributes a lot to my stiff vibrato). 

I've been having a serious case of "emotional constipation" (thank you, Tarzan), and I think I really need to take some time to let that stress go, because I think, at this point, it's starting to affect my singing. More than that, it's terribly distracting, especially when I feel that my shoulders have been tight all day by the end of the night. 

Lesson Take-Aways 1/20/16

long cheeks

tongue in almost vertical slope

NO tongue engagement as you get higher in pitch

As pitch rises, allow there to be a subtle change in space, but don't alter the tongue or harden the jaw.

soft lips, mouth, cheeks, jaw

As you rise, don't bring up the bottom; let there be an internal slope that increases.

You have permission to be confident in yourself. 

Practice 1/15/16

I started out the day with some pretty intense acid reflux (and last night as well).

My speaking voice feels good, but singing has a gravelly feel. It's a little disconcerting, so I tried to be more "speech-like" in my singing.

• [li le la lo]: speak first, then sing. 
• notice how smoothly transfer between chest/mix/head in speech. Gentle/smooth airflow
• released jaw when singing too!
• Listened to 7/10/14 lesson...
• release upper lip
• lean head down on piano so lips can hang
• pay attention to molar space, jaw back/released
• lots of larynx jumping??? It's weird.
• remedy with tracheal tug, open glottis...
• With "nasal" technique from Venecia:
• release back molars/cathedral, but don't sing into the back. Allow the space to reside there, but don't swallow the sound. 

I don't know if I'm being paranoid, but I'm getting a feeling that I'm pre-nodular right now. Almost every way I sing feels "gravelly" or rough as far as sensation goes. It's very uncomfortable.... 

Practice 1/14/16

Started out the day with a really edgy feeling voice--everything sort of feels abrasive whenever there is any focus in my voice.

• "ng-a ng-e": single pinpoint of sound
• Pay attention to sensation at the start of sound initiation (which I'm assuming shouldn't be there)
• [si se sa so su]
• open glottis before sound production 
• Each pitch is unaffected by the pitches around it. Watch out for pitch drag. 
• Think [i] before every vowel
• consonants up to pitch
• I experimented with "apple in mouth," but instead, I visualized something softer, like a roll of bread that I didn't want to squish. This helped me to soften my mouth and jaw areas, I think. 
• Whole body resonator, especially on low pitches
• Approach from above (esp. on high pitches)

Master Class with Venecia:

• plug nose, sing nasal vowel, and switch between nasal and not. 
• cheek bones above/in front of "lower jaw."

Question:

What are some exercises to eliminate edginess? I've been experiencing glottal scrape lately, and it's been rather frustrating trying to figure out how to fix it. It's even more frustrating when I feel like I'm singing just fine, but then I suddenly glottal scrap mid-pitch. At this point, I think I may be compensating in a weird way to avoid that uncomfortable sensation....

Take-Aways 1/11/16 and Practice 1/13/16

[ng-a ng-e]: Literally open up, with "pull/release of uvula," not tongue depression.

All sound has a single pinpoint destination, regardless of vowel

"yawning" 123234etc. 

• released face/articulators while maintaining space

Edginess/brittle? soften edginess

• open glottis/pharynx
• take time on breath
• allow soft palate to float upwards! Everything is soft

Sing at the top of pitch opening. Not above, but just beneath top (imagine making circle with your arms and the pitch is just below your hands)

Make sure consonants will have back of tongue up and released, even when tip of tongue is up at the same time (i.e. n, l, s, etc.)

sing notes like a xylophone--precise and each unaffected by the notes around it. 

Practice 11/1/15 - 11/17/15 and Lesson Summary 11/17/15

I haven't really kept up with my blogging on here very well, but I have my little notebook with small notes on what has been effective.

11/1/15
Listen to 6/25/14, 6/11/14 Lessons

• Weird "airiness" and different/odd access to low notes: 
• vocalize on glides/bounce with light phonation. 
• Edginess: panting, gliding gently into low. 
• Watch release for loose/softness
• keep things in the cheeks, with air and voice starting above the tongue
• "like this" mentality
• Consonants are also work of the mind. 
• Inhale to end phonation. 

11/4/15

• watch temporal muscle! 
• pleasant/simple "so long"
• "like this" mentality (again)
• loose lips!

11/9/15

Listen to 4/28/14 Lesson

• "Tear drop" space behind the nose
• **Primal "uhh" space in throat before singing - keep high note approaches light and high. 
• Panting to become aware of open throat space
• inhale after singing immediately! 
• Singing doesn't have to be "pretty" when it's in the right place (Marilyn Horne)

11/11/15: Great day, despite reflux!

Refer to 7/10/14 Lesson 

• Don't force "breathy" sensation into the voice - allow for enough vocal fold closure
• Do not force a certain sound! Allow it to come freely. 
• Lower back free! "Like that"
• Consistent air flow/pressure on louds, softs, and pitch. 
• all sound above tongue/nose
• "sneeze" to release upper pharynx
• breathe into singing space
• strongly encourage vowels and release. 
• watch descending lines. 

11/13/15

Listen carefully to 4/28/14

• Lip buzzes: start low, experimenting with different vowels on the inside (particularly [i])
• jello-y lips
• loose jaw
• mime "primal uhh" in upper pharynx as well. 
• maintain depth as well
• soften back molars
• consistent/even breath pressure
• singing above tongue

11/16/15

Listen to 4/28 and 4/14/14

• Warmup lip buzzes with internal [i]
• sneeze space
• "jolly rancher" between molars space
• chewing sensation while singing (jaw is loose and free)
• Listen to Lesson 1/28/15 for help with Glottal Scrape/tongue back tension 
• VISUALIZATION!
• sensation of ease
• warmth of sound
• softness of body
• soft/constant/generous air flow

11/17/15 LESSON SUMMARY/Take-aways

• huge open-mouthed inhale
• puckered lip/nose exhale
• hum chew descending
• **don't sing--speak!
• "shy": have energized "sh". don't be afraid to scrunch up the face. 
• remember to have immediate release into the vowels
• simpler sounds in vocalization
• warm up with decreased volume. 

Lesson Summary 11/2/15

I talked about how I noticed that my tongue position changed upon inhale (because I was holding something while I was singing), and how I built up off of that.

[fi fe fi fe fi] 564534231

Cindy did "dummy face" at me while I did this, particularly for my inhalation. 

"so long" 8-7654321. 

agreeable voice.

use "s" for getting up above pitch. 

[bap bap bap ba:] staccato-held. 8-5-3-1.

release into the bottom pitch, then maintain release/open throat of the bottom and incorporate it into the top pitches. 

"ba-by ba-by" 1-3 2-4 3-5 4-6 5-7 6-8 7-9 8. 10-8 9-7 8-6 7-5 6-4 5-3 4-2 1.

both syllables are loose-lipped, very supple as you go up. No new jaw posture, and very little change/any sensation of change in the tongue. 

If there's edginess in the tone, then loosen the lips even more. 

13 35 58 8/10 10/8 85 53 31 "a/eh eh/oh a/eh eh/oh a/eh eh/oh a/eh eh/oh a"

I turn my head to the left shoulder--watch that. 

allow the vowel to turn/flip into the other. 

allow the pharynx to stay as open in the bottom in the top

Also experiment with "ng" on this vocalize. 

"The Heavenly Banquet"

Sing with molars apart in the back and lips together. 

You don't need your mouth for pitch!

Don't have a new jaw for the high notes--don't rely on jaw stress to stabilize the larynx. 

Allow phrases to a single gesture, rather than a collection of notes. (less clunky)

Sound production is magic! Uniform in external presentation. 

"Cruda sorte!"

Just watch that you allow your mouth to stay open the entire time. 

Have you "landmark" notes on cadenzas and quickly moving passages for listener points of reference. 

Practice 9/20/15

Today, my voice felt very sluggish. I didn't quite wake up with the feeling of reflux, but I did have a little bit of it, I'm sure. I've got some sort of swelling or something going on with my voice, but it doesn't feel like the usual reflux, so I decided to be particularly careful with my voice today.

I've been working on breathing exercises, but it's difficult to balance being even with my breathing (and not "pooping out" the breath) and being liberal with the air. In Vocal Ped, we've been talking about having a suspended rib cage and allowing everything around it to move freely, but the concept is still eluding me when I try to apply it.

I noticed that on some notes, my voice does this weird hum thing that almost sounds like my voice is vibrating in two places... (uh oh), but it's only on one note, somewhere around E4 and D4. I know that's not a good sign typically, so I decided to rest my voice and just work on learning the German pronunciation to my music.

Practice 9/18/15

Note to self: Stopping food and drink after 9:30 p.m. is a good idea because it works.

Today I focused on keeping my articulators released and finding that nice buzzy place where everything is easy to sing. Things that I noted were particularly helpful: "shopping" on 8531, allowing the air to flow in the same area as "sh" when I open for the vowel.

I attempted the pencil-in-mouth thing again, and I found that it was better when I imagined there was a chimney coming out of the top of my head. But I still get pretty tense; I try not to think of not touching the pencil with my lips, but just smiling with a diagonal shape.

Another thing that I did was the tall [u] and breath and adding the voice to the breath flow.

Practice 9/16/15

Since my lesson on Monday, I've been struggling with figuring out where my tension is coming from and focusing my resonance. I went through what was on my lesson recording, and I spent some time on the floor, allowing my back to release as I breathe.

I sang while I was on the floor, and I noticed that I had a tendency to accompany my higher notes with additional subglottic pressure in addition to tightening the back and "punting" air as I ascended in pitch, especially with leaps and upward scales. I got pretty frustrated when I realized that I couldn't effectively sing in the higher part of my range without punting. Admittedly, this made me pretty upset; I kind of feel like all of the work I did over the summer has been for nothing. Like I got thrown back to square one all over again now that I've got to unwork all of the tension and bad-habits I've developed.

After taking a small break, I spent a good amount of time to allow my back to release, and upon standing my singing was a little better, but I felt things get edgy and everything still felt pressed. So I focused on singing very lightly so I didn't have to worry about breathing as much, and I sang shorter phrases, allowing time to inhale calmly.

I modified the floor exercise to a standing position since lying down made me feel like I was choking on my tongue. I stood with my back against the door and allowed my arms to hang from the door frame. In this position, I was just as aware of my breathing, as well as my tendency to engage my shoulders/breathe high.

One thing that I've been noticing during my practice: I keep trying to work with the vocalizes that are recorded in my lesson, but I find that I can't seem to balance clarity in my vowels and staying released in the tongue. I get really edgy and singing becomes tiring and uncomfortable, and this is especially noticeable on my closed vowels, where I can't really get away with opening my jaw as much. I've been experimenting with the "diagonal grin" we did in my lesson and morphing that [i] vowel into something I can still do with my lips released, but it's going to need more time, I suppose.

Also, the grin is difficult because once I do that, I find it really hard to release my face afterwards, and then my singing becomes really tight. All in all, I just got frustrated today, and I'm sure I just lost my patience by the end of the night.

Practice 8/29/15

4/14/14 Lesson Listening

Smile on the inside.
Don't drag up to pitches. Flip instead.
Pay attention head position
Posture and breathing
Let vibrato happen; don't force.
ALWAYS SING AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE. No special tongue, neck or anything.
Everything is in the mind.
As you change pitch, allow the tongue to release each time.
As you go down in pitch, keep the tongue up and released and fat. 

Lesson Summary 4/22/15

[u y i] on a single pitch. Not quiet or loud, but fully committed. 

Dented [u], and the only thing changing is release of the jaw and full release of the lips for the final bright vowel. 

Then use this exercise for a set up for a 6 note scale on [i]. Instead of dragging from 5 to 6, just flip. 

Each of the pitches have their own spin (like an abacus). 

"Yawn yell yodel" 8-7654321, repeat 3x. 

No sense of upward aim. You are already at that pitch. Don't propel yourself to that pitch. Do less punting. 

Even if the consonant is on a low pitch, if you flip appropriately for the vowel, then it's okay. 

Think Alice in Wonderland mirror; morph--get small and then morph into the next vowel. Bloom. Taper almost to no sound before the higher pitch. Flip like a whale!

"Mine was hers" 1--85. Same concept. 

Carmen. 

"Seville" drill to the C#. 

Take away low notes and practice the high ones with good onset. Practice the feeling of a new start on those notes. 

On low notes, explore the chest voice. Don't worry about how it sounds. 

Practice 4/22/15

Before my lesson today, I just warmed up with the same lesson that I did last time (4/14/14), and I really made sure to not push/punt with my air. I had noticed that, after my previous practice session, I had a particular edginess in my voice/tone that didn't feel very nice either, and I attribute that to excessive force/pressure when jumping up in pitch.

Take-Aways 4/22/15

• Don't "aspire" to be high. Just be high.
• Condition the feeling of ease/renewal, especially on upward leaps. 
• Have intention! 
• It's okay if the consonants are low if you flip. 
• The imagery of the whale turning onto its belly for a flip was really helpful for some reason.**

Practice 4/20/15

I'm working on an [a] mouth with "ng" tongue.
I sort of feel like my voice has been "asleep" these past few days. It's like I can't get it to wake up.

SO. I listened to my 4/14/14 Lesson (from ages ago) and that really helped me out of my slump.
Focused a lot on not being relaxed, but being ready. I would visualize the sensation of free breath/singing before I sang, and that really helped release. I would very literally visualize threading the sound/breath through a needle.

Be full of intention. All of the work is in the BRAIN!

My open vowels (i.e. [a, o]) and [u] are having problems. It's harder to "thread" those vowels. So I would morph the vowel from [i] slowly to the vowel I want. I just have to be careful not to push with the breath.

Felt much better leaving the practice room than entering it, that's for sure.

Lesson Summary and Take-Aways 4/15/15

I'm just putting this here to say that we picked out new rep for next year.

Practice 4/15/15

I followed along with my 6/25/14 lesson because I felt like I needed a change of pace.
I thought a lot about released tongue, jaw, and breathing into the correct space for singing.
I also thought of pitch on a horizontal plane rather than vertical as I sang it.

I had noticed that my [i] vowel is always the best, and then [e], and then [a] was always the one I struggled most with. I thought more about [i] and [ae] as I sang it, and I thought about not pushing with the breath and letting airflow be generous and constant.

Blythe Gaissert Master Class 4/8/15

(I typed this up, but for some reason it never posted to the blog? It just stayed as a draft...)

"Cruda sorte!"

• Breathing it before you start singing it.
• Dynamic is just a color.
• Relax before you sing.
• Don’t be afraid of your chest voice; maintain the same height in your chest voice as in your high voice.

We worked on the recit section mostly.

• Allow yourself more time. Don't be so apologetic. Don't worry so much about "being correct." 
• Do the recit like a monologue. In your own language, write down the translation to make it more relatable to yourself. 
• Figure out where it is that you change your mind from angry/despair to determination. 
• Even on shorter passages, develop the voice. 
• Think about tone color for new lines of text. 
• Use the accompaniment for drama!

Practice 4/13/15

Woke up with reflux, but I know exactly what I ate last night to make it this bad, so I guess I should've seen it coming.

I went through my practice very slowly, constantly reminding myself that it's okay for the sound to be lighter on the higher pitches. I struggled for the first thirty minutes or so, but when I got into my music, I got less out of my throat and it was easier to find the "feel good" resonating spaces.

I breathed into the space that I wanted to sing in.
I thought about a higher pitch than what I actually had to sing.
I adjusted vowels so they were more uniform throughout.

Practice 4/10/15

Had a good recital last night, but I'm going to write down some things that I noticed while I was singing:

Got really dry about halfway through the performance; it was weird because the dryness wasn't necessarily debilitating; I just felt it when I went to swallow/breathe. My actual sound production didn't feel dry.

Especially towards the beginning, my vibrato felt very "in my throat"; I could feel the oscillation of my larynx or something like that. It was very odd.

Canticle II was difficult because I got into that edgy place and I didn't know how to get out of it during the moment.

My tongue felt weird. Don't know if it was tension (probably was), but I think it got a little stiff towards the end of the performance. Breath management was also a little odd, especially towards the beginning, but I'd like to blame that on nerves. Maybe.

****

[na ne ni no nu] 5-5-5-5-54321. Thought a lot about opening from the consonant up, and tuning the consonant and the vowel together.

Also did some stuff with "ng" and the back of the tongue and feeling soft in the cheeks, jaw, and tongue. Unimportant mouth. Steeple-like vowel in the mouth. (Listen to the 1/14/15 Lesson). Think of breathing through the nose as you sing in order to feel that "cool air sensation." I'm experimenting with breathing in through the mouth and nose simultaneously to see what happens in preparation for vocalization.

I'm thinking about increasing volume not with air pressure, but with "mass of VF."

I thought about the air softening the side edges of my soft palette and allowing my tongue to be as fat as possible with my dent cheeks and HIGH thoughts. That really helped.

Lesson Summary and Take-Aways 4/8/15

I lost the recording to my lesson (sad day....), so I'm going off of memory. We basically worked a couple of concepts throughout the lesson, so this one is going to be a little short.

• [fa a]
• bloom into each sound (think of that picture that Cindy showed you with the vowels)
• Shimmer/spin "psshhhh" sensation
• velvet: smooth/no harsh edges
• Gradually bloom into each note and "speed it up" until the ear can't hear the entrances. 
• exploding consonants
• 8531
• 54321
• All sensation should be in front of the cheeks; nothing behind it. Then release the jaw. 
• “Gott Im Fruhling”
• Think of phrases. Don’t sing until you know how your body feels in the phrase; this includes breaths, etc. 
• “Das Erste Veilchen”
• Think colors!
• “Dream Valley”
• On descending areas, think of the air on the side edges of the soft palette; just watch the tongue that it doesn’t stiffen.

Lesson Summary 4/1/15

[fi fe fi fe fi] 564534231. Take your time on the breath; feel the coolness of the air against the roof of your mouth. Breathe with intention. (Use the thumb under the top teeth as a cue.)

**if it's not what you want, slow it down until you get what you want**

"Cool, long-cheeked breath." We have to make the space before we can shape the space (with the vowels).

[nnnna nnnnne nnnni nnnno nnnnu] On a single pitch. Think of the [n] as the top of the pitch, but the bottom of the vowel, so when you open up for the vowel, you feel an opening from above. Think not only about timbre, but also intonation. Listen for the [n] to be the same no matter what.

**Take your time with your breath. Smile on the inside.

Experiment with long-cheeked mouth; this may be difficult because the tongue is unsure of what to do in a space that large.

[hu ju ju ju ju ju jo jo jo jo jo jo ja ja ja ja ja] 543212345432123454321. Nothing on the inside of the mouth changes; only the lips. Use the [h] for that initial pitch.

[k k k k ke] 8531. Use the silent [k] to just where the sound should originate from in your singing.
[ki]

Sing above A4 as if it's your high voice. Don't get lazy as you go down in pitch.

"Shy" 987654321Think of the "slide" shape of pitch as you descend; you don't immediately go down into the "whoosh"/in the body sensation until much later than you think. "Delayed gratification."

When the tongue feels particularly tight, exaggerate what you have to do for space; breathing, soften the back molars, lengthen cheeks, take time for the breath. "Sigh" 8531. *Thumb under teeth cue.

"L'absent" and "L'attente"
Pantomime high notes.
use [bl]!!! Get the feeling of blowing your lips apart (but not pushing with the breath)
      "explode open" at the top.
Experiment with vowel shaping, but maintain space.
Switch around difficult passages by alternating high and low notes.

"Now Sleeps the Crimson Petal" and all the other songs (basically we discussed the same techniques for the rest of the pieces):
Use the [n] and other nasal consonants to help with resonance. (open from above)
TUNE THE CONSONANTS AS WELL AS THE VOWELS!!!!!

Practice 4/6/15

I woke up feeling really good about my voice today--I did some light practice the night before, and I'm trying to be really good about my acid reflux (a.k.a. not eating/drinking late at night) and using a humidifier.

I followed along with my lesson recording, and I'm really taking my time on having the right breath before singing as well as having cheek dent space. 

"Delayed gratification" for going down on pitch; stay high. 

Practice 4/2/15

Feeling pretty good today. I feel like whenever I have a "sort of good" lesson, the next day, things just start to click in.

Things that I really focused on that helped a lot:
Taking time for the breath. Use the thumb under top teeth trick.
Dent in the cheeks!
Feel nothing! If you're aware of sensation, you're tightening something!
Be aware of intonation above the consonant as well as on the consonant. The consonant is the "top of the note, and the vowel just opens above it."

Take-Aways 4/1/15

Use [bl] to loosen the tongue.

Breathe for the space; vowels are just shapes to the space.

Take your time. ^

Use resonance with [n] to lead into consonants. Have all consonants resonate in the same place.

Think high on consonants as well as vowels.

Challenge yourself to have the cheek dent space as you do these exercises. 

Practice 3/31/15

I've been struggling (what's new), but when I stopped to really think about what my problems were, they weren't tension or grabbing problems in the voice. It finally sunk in that I was just having resonance issues--Cindy had already told me that in my lesson, but it didn't really mean anything until today.

I spent my time in my practice room playing around with my vowels, and I noticed that when I got the correct vowel, my problems went away and the sound blossomed out. Eventually, I was able to find my way into a place where most of my vowels were in the same general area so I didn't have to change much to sing them and the resonance was consistent and buzzy.

I took extra care on schwa's and gave them brighter "flavors" so I wouldn't depress the tongue. I thought about what Mandy said in choir (quoted from Liz Tait): "The vowels are just leaking out of the ears as you sing them."

I also noticed the feeling of a "cathedral" in the mouth; I felt two "pillar-like" sensations just behind my back molars, in two very specific areas in the mouth.

I didn't think about positioning my mouth in any particular way (except some thought on "lower jaw" going back and behind the upper molars....) and it all just happened naturally. Same with breathing; I sort of thought about having a raised sternum, and breathing/stability was so much easier.

Lesson Summary 3/25/15

(Almost forgot to upload this. Whoops.)

This one is kind of short because we just reiterated the same concepts over and over.

Started the lesson and described the feeling that I couldn't wake up my voice/swelling/sluggishness.
Overcome with resonance strategies. 

[mi si mi] 54321.

"dent in cheeks" [u, y, i] on a single note. (a.k.a. molar separation)
Vowel switches are immediate, not "bleeding" into each other. [i] is release of lips; tongue is already in position.
Have intention.

[u y i---vi vi vi vi vi] 5-----54321.
Watch shallow vs. resonant.

Create the correct instrument with the breath.

[vi ---- e ---- i] 123456787654321.
[vi] on each pitch for intention and use of onset as release and staying in posture.

Watch releases on each note--only air changing directions. As you get higher, there tends to be some closing down. Try voiced panting to experience air turning sound on and off, rather than tightening.

Juxtapose low with high to model the sense of release. 123454321. [i]

"why not" 8531.

[(fa fa fa fa) fa fi fe fa] 8 5 3 1 8 5 3 1. Use the [f] for soft palate lifting.

As the air comes in, be aware of the "cooling sensation" upon the roof of the mouth.

"Frühlingsglaube"
Lions breath. Swelling heart in chest. (again)
Use SOVT exercises. Know the difference between closed vowel and closed mouth.

Practice 3/30/15

I followed along with my most recent lesson recording. I noticed that whenever I added my vibrato to my sound, singing just didn't feel "natural" or "effortless," so I thought a lot about making the sound simpler. I also thought about allowing the sound to be lighter as I went up in pitch. This really helped a lot.

One thing that helped a lot was thinking more about the space, and not manipulating the body parts around it. I had always been thinking space "back and up," but since it obviously wasn't working, I thought more about having the space extend more towards the back of the front teeth in addition to what I already had.

Practice 3/27/15

Started practicing this morning, and felt an immediate sort of "vocal fry" sensation even as I was singing in my middle range. Followed along with my lesson recording, and I took things really easy today. My voice is just not feeling up to par these days, especially in the first half of the day.

Worked on resonance and stuff. Noticed that I was sort of pushing for vibrato, so I tried to let it more naturally. Still feel like I'm singing through a veil. I just feel like my voice is just so swollen-feeling that I have no idea what to do with it until it just goes down on its own.

Decided that I probably just (again) needed a change of pace, so I went through some old lessons and came across the 6/25/14 one, and that really helped me release. I don't know what it is about it, but something just let go and singing was so much easier. I didn't feel trapped in my own throat. We did similar exercises that we're doing now, but they were worded differently? so I guess that changed my perspective a bit.

Take-Aways 3/25/15

• Balloon: The breath outlines the space, not the other way around.
• Lion breath; heart expanding.
• Take your time. Feel at ease in your own body.
• Dents in cheeks--prep the space before you sing in it.

"The breath prepares the instrument." Something along those lines. 

Practice 3/23/15

As of this past weekend, I'm 99.99% sure that my vocal problems are a result of allergies. So I've just been trying to be kind and inviting to my voice, especially with the opera coming up this weekend.

One thing that I've been able to be more aware of is my evenness of breath and when I can elicit pitch without having to change anything in my vocal mechanism. This is much easier with vowel unification, and after some experimentation, I'm finding that leaning more towards [ae] on every vowel is helping me with resonance throughout my range. Still takes some searching to find it every day though.

I'm making it a goal of mine to practice in shorter sessions more often throughout the day. I went back and read several chapters from Oren Brown's book, and I'm deciding that would probably be better for my vocal health anyways.

Practice 3/20/15

I'm feeling pretty discouraged about my voice right now. I woke up feeling pretty gross; I had a very thick film of mucus or something sitting on my voice, and singing has just been hard. Most of it is a resonance problem I think, but I feel like my ability is somehow deteriorating. I'm still deciding if it's because I'm in the process of learning something new or if I'm just in a rut.

Maybe I've been practicing too much lately and I'm just getting frustrated.

********
Okay, not gonna lie--I took some time to sit in a corner and calm myself down. I was sort of freaking myself out.

I felt like I was singing through a brick wall or something; my sound production just feels muffled.
So I stopped singing and went through my old Take-Aways and Lesson Summaries to see what I had written that I was perhaps forgetting, and I found some stuff that really helped.

54321. 54321. [gai lai gai, go do go] Experiment with having more of the back teeth apart, especially on the first part of the exercise. Showing more of the front teeth in preparation for the vocalize.

12345678987654321. [a e o e a]. Maintain square feeling in the back of the jaw. Increase the slope of the space (diagonal line from tip of top front teeth to the cheek bones) as you go up in pitch. Let the feeling of stretch be incremental. Think of the progression of going up in pitch as a track that comes towards you and curves up and around at the point of your neck--think of the turn as a wide turn in the pitch... if that makes sense. At a certain, there's an over/up sensation that eventually comes back to you when you get high enough in pitch.

For singing softer: think of the appearance of soft.

Really smiley face position, DIALING "top jaw" into the skull until you can't anymore, in front of the ears. "Ow! That's excessive!"
Puppeteers: Top molars up, lower jaw back and behind the top molars, and pulling lips forward and wrapping around the molars.

Visualization: Sense how you want the song to go before you sing it.

I left the practice room feeling a lot less stressed out. I knew there was something that I was forgetting to do, and I'm super grateful that we do these lesson summaries and stuff. I never would've figured it out otherwise.