Practice 9/11/17

Lesson 2/7/17 x2

Middle voice is worst. Tension of tongue around larynx is sore. Feels like a veil is on my sound.
In my attempt to figure out what I could possibly be doing, I read over old practice blogs. I had tagged some of the more recent ones with conditions that I was feeling (Tongue Tension, Breathing, etc.), and I decided to read over my blog for 2/7 and 2/8/17. This helped so much; it helped me to find what worked for me in the past. Super grateful that I have these to look back on.

• "hmmm" hum through nose really helped to release tongue. 
• Do not MAKE sound. 
• Feel like the hum is between the eyes. Think more "nose sound," rather than singing through nose. 
• Chewy. 
• Really pay attention to the things Cindy has to say here. I didn't write everything down in this blog, because everything was very helpful. 

After about an hour, I figured out some sort of release that allowed me to sing without feeling like I was trapped in my own body/throat. The tension was so bad that I thought something must be wrong, but it was just tension. I have to reestablish that feeling of release in my body now, because it (sadly) feels a little foreign since it's been so long. 

Practice 9/10/17

Lesson 7/2/16

earplugs

• Think "sob", but watch (internal) frown. (Helps breath)
• [u i, o e] in same space for vowels. 
• Don't be "careful"
• sing before you finish inhalation 
• ("ya ya" --> "(a)yaya")
• Don't move too early to consonant. 

Gave up about an hour in. Tongue is almost sore from being so tight. I'll come back to it with a fresh mind tomorrow. I have been trying so many different ideas, but I think I just need to mix things up and surprise myself at this point. I know I'm overthinking something, but I'm not sure what. But I KNOW it has to do with my tongue. I'm trying too hard to make a physical thing happen, which I know is something I shouldn't be doing. I just need to convince my body to trust me. 

Practice 9/8/17

Lesson 7/18/16

The throat/pharynx below the jaw is REALLY tight. Almost feels like beginnings of vocal tension dys. again.

• Try imagining the root of the tongue isn't connected to anything: There's not any constriction of space surrounding the tongue. 
• Low voice/middle has been the worst. Really tight. Tongue tension has been really bad. Feels like a curtain over the voice (which sounds alarming, but I'm pretty sure it's just really bad tongue tension.....). Feels like everything is stuck in the throat. 

Practice 9/4/17

Lesson 8/31/17

Before lesson: tried to figure things out without recording. 

• On "nyam" [a] should feel like nasal, but it's not?
• watch for lazy soft palate on [mi e a]; it gives illusion of forward resonance. Also esp. watch in tongue as well the lower voice. 
• Use earplugs: really pay attention to "breathe-->sing"
• notice how everything lifts when you inhale. Sing along that contour. 

Practice 9/1/17

9:45 AM

Some residual phlegm on folds, but I think that's just dehydration. Causing some scratch in sound.

• Start low (no higher than G4)
• taking concepts from Lesson 8/31/17:
• gently release soft palate upwards; key is gentle
• be aware of root of tongue and tip of tongue
• watch [i] for purity, as well as [u]
• stay ground (use whip/belt/rope for pulling)
• be patient. start quietly.
• watch chin, and temporal muscles.
• gentle panting for scrape-y onsets
• sometimes thinking about tongue is too much; so think release space between molars AND front canines (so sound doesn't fall back)
• on [i]: release blade of tongue.
• back molars release (of both palates... hard/soft)
• experiment with different vowel order/patterns

Still some interference in larynx. Perhaps tongue? (Probably tongue.)

Practice 8/26/17

Lesson 2/26/17 (x2)
8PM

Much chest congestion is going away. No more post nasal drip! Still VF a little phlegmy.

• Earplugs; I noticed I would grab yesterday
• nasal passage is refreshingly clear tonight. Wish pharynx was just as clear...
• don't think too much about your pharynx
• notice scratchiness as you descend
• focus on the good!
• alternate nose/mouth breath
• imagine how you want things different, and request it. Don't overthink and force.
• Nasal-pharynx seems really released today.
• imagine an open glottis
• remember to be holistic in your sensory awareness
• "like that"
• be aware of the feeling of a "roof" --> esp. behind nose. 

Practice 8/24/17

10 PM

Lesson 2/26/17

Voice a little swollen, but post nasal drip is slowing. Just more tracheal irritation and chest congestion, which leads to coughing. I'm very glottal scrape prone right now.

• release the entire tube
• breathe-sing; space shouldn't really change
• release back of pharynx/tongue/jaw
• E5+ --> head shift only
• Watch airflow that it isn't leaky as you descend or open to vowel. 
• start with something, like [v, th]
• watch snarl...

Practice 8/21/17

Lesson 2/26/16
11:46 AM

Have a cold; migrated from fiery nasal cavity to scratchy/mucus-y throat.

• released back molars AND root of tongue
• includes happy cheeks
• QUIET panting
• be aware of any subglottal pressure when singing.
• watch A-O joint release
• establish the "tube"
• if things are too "muggy"/swollen at the VFs, then don't sing there! Sing above it!
• if swelling is bad, don't try to make airiness go away. if it's a thing that must happen, let it. 
• use panting to make sure you don't fall back

Practice 8/18/17

Lesson 2/26/16

• Molar space (even on [u])
• don't "poop" air
• establish released "tube"/pharynx all the way up behind nasopharynx AND below jaw.
• panting to notice where pharynx is released or not
• "beep":don't be afraid to be small
• NOTICE space, but don't necessarily sing into it. 
• Think forward and up.

Practice 8/10/17

Lesson 2/26/16 (x2)

Voice has been feeling a bit too "leady"--base of tongue tension + zero breath support (feels like always gasping for air)

No earplugs this time. 

• really focus on sensation
• watch descending scales; there should be no breathy [h] delineation for each note.
• notice in "ya" 54321 that pitch change happens in "same place" with no laryngeal help to separate notes
• don't make vibrato. Go for simplicity. Don't make a sound. 
• jaw/tongue independence. 

Practice 8/1/17

Lesson 7/31/17

Voice feels a little abused from oversinging/reflux/allergies?

• Start with many SOVTE, like lip buzzes, [th] [v] [u]
• experiment with idea that breath is accelerating; not necessarily more volume. Start normally and allow it to move somewhere.
• watch that you're allowing the line to FLOW as one, rather than having it fade in/out between pitches. 
• watch jaw is independent of tongue

• Watch if sound "moves" in face when descending. 
• [th] 54321, not "bouncy." Think more legato. 
• "oy" 54321-123454321
• don't sing in your space for the vowel. Sing in front of it. 
• **Use "yodeling" [a u a] 1-8-1 to discover your isolated CT. Good for use above E/F5+

Practice 7/24/17

Lesson 4/18/17
(Earplugs)

• release back soft palate
• everything in front of dimples
• don't force
• start vocalization gently/simple.
• corners of mouth yearn for each other
• "no jaw", but allow to open
• open pharynx --> the breath also doesn't "explode." It is grounded. 
• all sound is above the mouth
• watch that chin doesn't get stuck down
• "nyam--ah" 54321-54321
• vowel open on top. not with jaw.
• watch subglottal pressure; feeling of suspension of breath.
• space in BODY, then thread the needle.
• you have to balance generosity of air and too much air
• **No sense of breath "drying out" the folds as you sing; it goes above; the space for higher pitches (all pitches) is above the nose
• don't get lazy as you descend.
• "when I" exercise: allow lips to move from active to inactive.
• onsets will never scoop up (especially with consonants)
• if getting stuck in the throat, think more nasal/in front of dimples. 
• **Really monitor back of tongue/roof.
• A-O joint flexibility
• even breath flow
• jaw is very released/open
• Think Nebrebko or Sierra
• watch that back of pharynx is nice and soft.
• still keep in mind "front of dimples."

Practice 6/17/17

I haven't been posting things here lately, but I have a whole bunch of notes in my practice journal that I'm going to post here.

Lessons 2/26 and 2/27/16

• earplugs
• easy, quiet onsets (soft)
• think of very edges of folds vibrating -- no body
• Don't "make" a sound happen.
• Breathe through nose and become aware of NO sensation in pharyngeal muscles/space.
• the pitch starts at the unicorn tip of horn.
• can also do "bite the apple" breath.
• Watch that onsets are soft and easy
• **You feel NOTHING in back of throat or at glottis. 
• use little vocal capital during warm-ups
• feels cool air on front half of roof of mouth
• focus on the good. NOT getting rid of the bad
• vowel uniformity
• jaw hinges/swings open
• think ascend as you descend 
• even breath flow as you ascend
• you feel NOTHING in soft palate
• tip of tongue against bottom row of teeth

• Breath should be casual; don't make a breath be anything. 
• when you open your mouth, air just comes in. 
• it's never "all or nothing"!

Practice 4/26/17

There's been some weird gravel in my voice lately, and it's making me a little concerned; there is no restriction on my range or anything like that, but this weird gravelly sound will come into my voice (esp. in my middle range) that I have a very hard time getting rid of. It sometimes causes weird glottal scraping as well. A part of me thinks that it's because I get lazy as I descend sometimes, and things don't stay as high as they should (i.e. soft palate and base of tongue), but I'm not quite sure.

• Start really quietly. searching for clarity, not volume. 
• This really helps to monitor breath flow as well. 
• The gravel is more obvious on brighter vowels. 
• Note: The gravel is different from "airiness" that I sometimes get. 
• Bite the apple: energy on top row of teeth
• Earplugs in
• Nadine Sierra: watch how she opens her mouth; it's so loose and free. Molar space. 
• it feels like a bit of a stretch in the jaw, but it feels good in the voice; just need to become accustomed, perhaps?
• swings back; hepls to think of pacman.... Even if you don't open up like that in actuality.
• tip of tongue is released

Still struggling a bit to release into the voice without excess squeezing or airiness. Trying to find the balance is a bit hard.... 

Practice 3/29/17

Lesson 2/19/16 Warm-up

• root of the tongue wants to default to a heavy, weighty feeling. 

Lesson 3/28/17

• lip trills with toaster shoulders
• "may oh my I" 8531
• about to yawn
• legato does not mean slur
• "I'm bathing" 1-8531
• m/b line up
• loose chew, mouth/lips
• maintain height as you descend
• "gai lai" 5432123454321
• preceed with two "g" touches. 
• "ai ai ai ai ai" 1358531358531

• happy, quiet "ah"
• don't make depth. Even give it permission to be shallow if it wants. Don't make anything happen. 
• noticing a "sand-papery" sensation/sound.... 
• 
  

Practice 4/21/17

I felt really good yesterday vocally, and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I had started warming up as soon as I woke up. That's a common trend on the days that I feel best about my voice, but it's just hard to be able to do that when waking up early is such a struggle. 

I've been having this weird default to gravel/scrape in the voice, and in my most recent lesson, we discussed having proper vocal occlusion, which is something I hadn't really focused on before, because I was worried about squeezing shut.

Lesson 2/26/17

• Use the nasal consonants to flip into vowels. It should be in the same place or above, now below. 
• The breath flow shouldn't increase in pressure when you open up. It should be the same, focused. 
• The breath should never be obstructed by the articulators.  
• Pay extra attention as you descend; don't get lazy and let the gravel in. 
• When you're feeling low/gravelly, it's better to err on the side of "nasality." Esp. for mezzos. 
• When you want to scrunch up the nose to get this nasality, think of doing it on the inside instead. Nothing on the outside should be influencing the inside.
• Opposition in the breath gesture and the sound. 
• Imagine the bottom of the breath gesture to be drawing the jaw down, and the top of the breath gesture is where the pitch comes out through a tiny hole. 
• You sing with a point over a big space; you don't fill the space. 
• corners of the lips "yearn" for each other

Lesson 2/27/17

• imagine the pitch starting in the unicorn horn tip. 
• watch that onsets are clear/no extra effort/breathy. 
• think "nasal" as you decrescendo/descend in pitch
• Experiment with placement of said unicorn horn tip if things are still too gravelly
• really released nasopharynx
• you'll have space in the back of the throat, but you're not going to fill that space with sound. 
• Take your time smelling the roses.
• The quiet, high exercises will never work if your jaw is stuck closed. 
• Make some honky nose sounds to become more comfortable with being that forward

Lesson 4/18/17

• horse, falling down through 5-1. Dropping arms.
• "blap blap blap" 8531 
• No pooping out the air; similar feeling/sensation of vibration as the horse. Very masky. 
• "nyam nyam"5432123454321
• eyes should not be closing as you do this
• add fish breath
• Think of Lynn Helding breath/mouth shape. 

Practice 3/27/17

I caught myself clenching my teeth a lot this weekend, and I've got quite a bit of lingering "soreness" in the root of my tongue because of it. Spend the first couple minutes of my practice just stretching and trying to find release in the neck. I've also been noticing how my jaw tends to default to jutting forward at times, so I've been trying to be more aware of that.

Lesson 2/29/16 ~13 min.

• Jaw is down and back
• watch onsets
• don't push the sound out; just let it fall out
• watch even airflow
• "depth is breath gesture [not shape]"
• uniformity throughout the range; if you feel something shift in the pharynx, it's probably not right. Use the breath to set up the tube; the tube stays the same even as you add pitch
• Onsets. Really work on those. They've been a little uncoordinated lately. Use sob with panting. 
• watch tip of the tongue
• don't try and "fix" things. Notice the good things and reiterate them. 
• lighten as you ascend. 
• posture
• really supple mouth/cheeks

Lesson 7/18/16 ~9/10 min. 

• "a-a-a-a-achoo" on sob before starting vocalize
• allow the mouth to open if it needs to. Pay attention to what it wants. 

Did some additional arpeggio work; 

• as you ascend, don't come off the voice. Just think of your tube. 
• vowel is in the thought. 
• fast [zi ze zaa----] 12345432-12345432-12345678987654321
• wobble exercises

While singing:

• Watch that you don't spread when "biting the apple." 
• molars are up and easy--when you inhale for about to sneeze, imagine the cool air brushing past them. 
• Watch the tube
• WATCH ONSETS. Sob! 

Practice 3/22/17 and Lesson 3/21/17

Voice actually feels pretty decent this morning. Must be the rain.

Warm up: ~10 minutes

• "nyam" 54321 
• completely released lips, space between back molars
• happy quiet ah, but don't try and /make/ your soft palate raise. Just let it be. 
• feel cool air on hard palate just behind front top teeth
• feel release in nostrils
• "ya" 54321 
• stay in lower range of your voice to get accustomed to complete release
• light/easy for higher pitches
• "yes sir" 8531
• precise/buoyant pitches. Watch that you don't slur. Legato is much simpler than "singing through"

Lesson 3/21/17

• "v" 1~8~1 
• siren-like
• use the pressure created from the semi-occlusion to relieve subglottic pressure
• wide in back
• "th---they" 87654321-35-87654321
• "yes sir" 8531
• "kitty kitty cat" 54321
• stay light on the higher pitches, and allow speech-like quality on bottom pitch (not from added breath pressure)
• [be de be de] 8531
• completely released back molars
• you can do happy inhale, but remember to stay released everywhere. Millimeters make a big difference!
• "nyam" 123454321`
• use the [n] to find the highness of the tone
• [fi fe fi fe fi] 564534231
• don't poop out breath
• big nostrils
• "my oh my" 8531
• child-like
• buoyant, no slur

Practice 3/20/17

Hey! Less allergies today. Voice still felt really weird over the weekend; like something was swollen. I also feel like my default to singing these days is really "leaky" with the air, so I need to work on that. Referred to my practice blog for 3/17/17.

Lesson 2/26/16

• Do some stretching of the ribcage
• bite the apple + happy breath
• molars triangle
• watch breathiness--don't try and /make/ it go away, but expect it to. 
• soft palate stays up as you descend
• energetic release of the tone
• cheeks are really released--the space on the inside is super soft just behind the cheek flesh. 
• keep thoughts happy though
• constant space between molars
• top lip is released
• be "singing" the pitch before you're even finished inhaling
• soft palate stays up even as you descend
• vowel is a thought
• watch posture
• release tip of the tongue
• REALLY bite the apple
• don't think of forcing the folds to adduct. They'll do that on their own. 

Lesson 2/28/17

• fat tongue
• release temporal
• don't make depth; depth is breath gesture
• think of the pointiness that you want in your tone. 
• feels like it's going out of a hole in the middle of the hard palate
• think "like that" whenever you have to reascend
• take your time!
• tip of tongue is really friendly with bottom row of teeth
• if the first pitch doesn't start outside of you, you're not going to end up in a good place. 
• raised molars
• onsets! Watch them. If they feel like the folds are coming together, that's not right. 
• think opposites for vowels

Spent about 40 minutes aligning the voice, but things above G5 are just not wanting to cooperate today. They get really weird and fuzzy whenever I tried to work with them, but I stopped because I didn't want to overdo it. 

Practice 3/17/17

Allergies are still pretty bad, but I've been taking some essential oils for it, and it works surprisingly well.

Referenced the practice blog for March 3, 2017.
Lesson 2/26/16 warm up

• stretch the ribcage
• bite the apple + happy breath
• don't overfill with breath
• back molars lift into skull, and there's that triangle, with the teeth being the bottom two points. the top point into the middle of the skull. You don't /make/ the "point" in the tone, but it somehow appears there in the middle of the hard palate. 
• don't be a leaky faucet
• if you can feel yourself open up in the throat when you breathe, you're closing in the first place. 
• gesture of the inhale
• millimeters can make a world of a difference!
• Yesterday, during my preview, whenever Cindy cued me to have a more open mouth, it wasn't necessarily exaggerated. It was just more released. Don't overdo it. 
• vowel is in the thought
• watch subglottal pressure.... 
• tip of the tongue is friendly with bottom row of teeth
• breathing in through the nose helps me to feel the breath right behind the top front teeth; have that same feeling when you're inhaling through the mouth. 

Lesson 2/28/17

• sometimes, there's just too much pressing between the folds. Imagine that they're barely touching. 
• imagine the point-y-ness in the pitch. Don't try and make it. Just let it happen. Look for it. 
• release temporal
• fat tongue
• release the A-O joint! if jaw feels really tense+root of tongue. 
• keep soft palate up as you descending
• release jaw for [e/i]!
• Posture makes a big difference (who knew.... *sarcasm*)
• horizontal length in the front chest, equal with the back
• prompt the soft palate, but don't try and force it up higher than you think you "need."
• prompt open mouth (like Cindy). Don't jam it down. As if you're in mid-performance. 
• prompt the pointiness in the tone, but don't make it. especially as you ascend. 

Pharynx felt very nice and released by the end, but there was some tension in the root of my tongue that I had a hard time eliminating. I put some earplugs in as I worked on my music, and I kept all of the things that I worked on in my vocalization in mind, focusing particularly on making sure that things felt released, not focusing necessarily on the sound. I just assume the resonance is there when I feel it? It's difficult to explain. 

Lesson Summary 3/14/17 and Practice 3/15/17

Yup, allergies are in full swing right now. Scratchy throat, runny nose, congestion, the works. Kind of feels like my folds are a little sandpaper-y right now.

Lesson 3/14/17

• Breathe for the instrument that you want. Breathe the space that you want. 
• breathe through your ears?
• about to sneeze
• Complete release in the jaw/cheeks/space between molars
• always reopen back to the space you need when you have to close for certain consonants. 
• it's a miniscule change, but it makes a huge difference!
• [i] is farther back
• you don't need your jaw to make [i]! 
• tip of the tongue is anchored to the bottom teeth
• hands on face/chin to monitor jaw movement
• energetic release of the pitch

Practice 3/13/17

Got back to Logan from my London trip at 3:30 this morning! Woohoo! (I think I'm more tired leaving Spring Break than getting into it...)

Lesson 2/26/16 Warm-Up

• Lynn Helding breath
• happy, quiet, "ah" OR about to sneeze
• A-O joint release
• "corset" breath; don't overfill.
• Don't try and make a sound; just let it happen
• horiz. and vert. release!
• tip of tongue release
• bite the apple + magnet lips
• Don't "make" the soft palate go up; cue it instead with the breath
• breath makes the instrument. 
• think of the little ball of space just front top teeth
• back of tongue against top molars
• release in back molars
• stay high even as you descend
• sing on the gesture of the inhale! 
• start the sound "before" you're finished inhaling. 

Lesson 2/27/17 (L.H.)

• don't try and /make/ depth. 
• lips are really REALLY loose and don't cover the sound. 

Lynn Helding Lesson 2/27/17 and Practice 3/3/17

My tongue's default today was pretty released. So I started warm-ups by focusing on breathing and getting the soft palate up.

breathing with the dress on

Lesson 2/26/16 Warm-up ~12 min.

• Stretch up and slowly lower arms while maintaining ribcage suspension 
• lip magnet
• don't overfill with breath
• chomp the apple/rectangle mouth (but watch that your tongue stays horizontally released) 
• "happy" breath
• fingers in dimples to remind molar space and singing in mask
• don't use up your vocal capital unnecessarily 
• tip of tongue

Lesson 2/27/17 Lynn Helding

• 8:00
• equal opening/released in soft palate and in the throat
• "ah ah ah" 5-5-5-5-54321
• approach from above
• about to sneeze in between
• keep soft palate lifted as you descend
• **Vowel comes from the inside. Think the vowel on the inside and it will come out. Don't make the vowel
• **Don't force the vocalize to work. Just let it do its thing. If it's not perfect, it's fine. 
• [fla fle] 5-534-423-312-271. 
• watch the temporal muscle. You want to flex it.
• "Mignon" by Wolf
• "Gold" more open 
• [ka ga ka ga ga] On single pitch 
• prep with about to sneeze
• "kennst" 
• tip of tongue REALLY needs to be against bottom row of teeth
• It's never just one thing; jaw and tongue and abdominal release and etc. etc. etc. 
• soft palate: 
• [a] [e] [a] 5-5-5-5-54321
• "Una voce poco fa" 
• It's never an "all or nothing thing." We can make adjustments. 
• happy, quiet/sneezy
• practice your strategy an octave down.
• best vowel around G# is [a] 
• Millimeters (in the soft palate and tongue) make a huge difference!
• Trust that the sound will be focused and full; don't force it with the tongue or breath. 

************

Update:

I was in a really good place by the end of my practice, and it felt like my soft palate was miles up into my skull (in a good way), and everything just felt really easy. Since everything felt really released, later that night, I decided to try my hand in CCM again (in stark isolation, of course), and I decided to look up different singers and take a look at their belting techniques. (i.e. Charice) 

I also remembered Rebecca saying something about how Lynn Helding said that CCM requires a slightly lowered back tongue position, so I experimented with that, all the while maintaining the nice soft palate lift that I had managed to get before. I found a sound that I really liked and felt pretty healthy. It definitely felt like speech or shouting, depending on where in my range it was, but it wasn't exhausting on the voice at all. 

Some comparisons to classical singing:

• CCM definitely has a bit of a lower tongue. The back of the tongue isn't touching the top back molars, unlike classical singing. 
• There is more subglottal breath pressure (more noticeable in upper range), but I really didn't notice until I tried to return to classical technique. 
• In order to access the different harmonics in CCM, I feel like I had to open my mouth a lot wider than I would in classical singing for "higher" pitches. (This is something that I observed in the videos that I watched with healthy belters.) 
• Again, just a small difference in the height of the soft palate makes a huge acoustic difference for both styles. 
• Now, this is going to sound weird: In classical singing, it feels like there's a small ball of space that sits just below the "hump" of the hard palate and just behind the front top teeth. In CCM, it felt like the ball of space was just below the top back molars. This probably has something to do with the lowered tongue position as well. Also, when I was belting, it felt like I was singing out of my top back molars, but the sound was coming out the front of my face because of the resonance. 

Lesson 2/28/17 + Practice 3/1/17

Lesson 2/26/16 Warm-up. Began with some airiness in the tone. (That tends to be my default.)

• Don't be afraid to have space between molars
• A-O joint release
• release tip of the tongue
• horizontal release of the tongue
• take "complete" breaths

An observation during my warm-ups: because of the acoustic nature of the practice room, I think have a tendency to want to make a particular sound, rather than letting it happen. That may contribute to some of my tension, especially compared to how I like the acoustics in Dallas' office. 

Lesson 2/28/17

• "bap bap bap" 54321
• released lips
• slowly increase the length of the vowel. 
• "ringing ringing ring" 123454321
• "play me" 8531358531
• fully stop the air before continuing
• Don't let go of the air; there should be a sense of "continuity," rather than a change of pressure. 
• loud vs. concentrated
• let the "l" cue your tongue tip to release
• "if your tongue wasn't held down by fibers, it'd fall out of your face." 
• Imagine the plosive "p" exploding inward to prevent "letting go" of the air. 
• Your breath should build your instrument. 
• You don't have to sustain the final pitch; you're unnecessarily using voice. 
• Watch your shoulders/collarbones.... 
• [fi fe] 123454321
• sob
• [a e o e a] 1353-135853-13583-8531. 
• stretch
• Watch that the breath doesn't get frantic, even from the very beginning. 
• Again, watch the collarbone (wide) and released shoulders
• vowel change on the inside
• "I I I--- don't know" 5-4-3-2-1358531
• sob/whine
• Keep top lip completely soft/released. 
• Happy/quiet/"ah" inhale
• No horizontal spreading of the lips
• 1358531 
• Exaggerated released tongue: tip never leaves the bottom teeth
• "when I went to bed" 54321
• "Donatella's dead"
• "slender"/sob
• Don't "make" depth. Just allow it to happen. 
• "Randy never tells"
• "Danny never lies"
• mp

Really focus on the breathing technique. If you take a "quick" breath and you can hear it, that means a) you need to take more time, b) you're likely not "happy" or "ah" enough!!

Boston Conservatory and NEC + Practice 2/20-2/22/17

Boston Conservatory: I would give myself a 6.5 or 7/10 for this audition because I felt I didn't perform at my best. I was still recovering from being sick, and I think I tried to overcompensate for my swollen folds. The panel didn't seem too impressed either (I mean, I wouldn't have been very happy with my performance, and I'm being optimistic.) That being said, it wasn't a trainwreck; I just could have performed much better than I did. 

NEC: I really liked how my first piece went; I started with "Va! laisse couler mes larmes," and I felt like I was in a good place. My second piece, however, "Se l'augellin" was a bit lack luster because I caught myself mid-piece paying more attention to the fast moving passages than emoting. (Whoops) With that in mind, I'd give myself a 7 or 7.5/10. Leading up to my audition, I was struggling a bit to find release because it felt like my tongue was getting heavy (again) and I felt like I was working too hard to bring my folds together. Also, my acid reflux was really really bad, so I was pretty swollen. However, the room I sang in had some nice feedback, so I released a little more into it once I got there. 

• Lessons 2/26 and 2/27/16
• maintain feeling of breath suspension as you sing (gesture of the inhale; inhale to singing has no difference). Don't do weird things with the inside of your mouth to accomplish this
• PAY ATTENTION TO THE A-O JOINT. Are you pushing your chin to your chest? Watch out. 
• imagine a stick between your two back molars; that area will not collapse inward. Think of a triangle with a point upward from there. 
• Everything is super wide and open, but the sound is a single point that doesn't necessarily fill that space. 
• release the breath while in suspension. If that makes sense. Suspend, but don't hold. 
• a-o joint and back molars are soft
• don't think of actively "opening" a lid on top when singing high; just give the sound permission to appear there. 
• start with simple sound. 

Practice 2/7 and 2/8/17

Last night: I spent another ~2.5 hours in the practice room. I went in with the intention of only doing 30 minutes, but next thing I knew it was past midnight by the time I left. Anyways, I spent a lot of time working on what we did in my lesson that day, trying to find release while working on the feeling of suspension. I got pretty frustrated about halfway through because I felt like I couldn't release into a fuller sound without my vibrato getting very beaty, but I tried really hard not to push with the breath and get impatient. I took a small break, and after listening to a recording from the MET with Kristine Opolais (whom I normally am not a huge fan of), something sympathetically released and I was able to sing almost as freely as I had when I had auditioned for USC. It just took me 1.5 hours to get there.... What's also frustrating is that I feel like whenever I find this released singing, I don't know how or why it happened, so it feels like a lot of luck is involved, and that drives me crazy because I feel like I can't replicate it. But I guess the only thing I can do is try to recreate the circumstances in which that happened.

****

Started out the day with sticky mucus.

• Lesson 2/7/17
• don't overfill with the breath; if anything, it helps if you feel only half full. 
• "jaw recedes"
• listen to MET instagram Rusalka with Kristine Opalais; something about how open her sound is (even if it's a little breathy) helped me to open up
• watch tongue tip
• "nyam" get really chewy with it once you've figured things out
• really really fat tongue!
• "um yawning is a welcome change" 
• "many" with yawn. (I actually loathe this exercise with a fiery passion.) 
• "sob"
• watch that the pharynx above the mouth doesn't close up
• Be very very patient with the breath
• consistent breath flow
• After about an hour of warm up, I feel released; I just feel like my breath isn't as efficient (flow phonation) as it could be. Otherwise, I feel much more released than I did a couple days ago. 
• leaning upper back against the wall helps

By the end of my practice session (~1 hr. 15 min) I felt like I had found release, but there was inefficient airflow, so it felt like I could only sing two measures at a time. I started experimenting with the suspension feelings before I had to leave. 

Practice 2/6/17

Root of tongue was horrendously tight this morning. Last night, I tried doing more quiet exercises to avoid my tendency to want to push with the air, as well as to help find the edge of the folds in my onsets. However, I think that led to some unnecessary tensions that I only caught towards the end of my practice when my tongue felt tired. 

Use Lessons 2/26/16, 10/10/16, and 2/5/16

• Spent about an hour trying to find release in the tongue when I finally just gave up. The most pervasive issue I am experiencing on a regular basis is the sensation that there's a ceiling on my pitch; it feels like it's a struggle to get anywhere above C5. I was hoping that by spending most of my time in the lower part of my range, where I'm least likely to tighten, I could use that as a model behavior, but I continued to struggle. 
• Then experienced some weird glottal scrape/vocal flutters? that are really obnoxious and sometimes disconcerting. 
• Trying to find release in the body, not just the area surrounding the larynx. 
• Did a lot of "achoo" things, because it feels like my nasal resonance is inaccessible. (probably contributing to the "ceiling" sensation)
• When plugging ears: any sensation/sound of edginess on the inside = tension on the outside. Don't try and make it higher than it needs to be. That can lead to tongue tension.
• Pay attention to the shape of the space and "softness" of the space inside; don't think of trying to make parts move or not move. 

Gave up and started singing "Cruda sorte" and things kind of just fell into place. Don't know what happened. I had my ears plugged. Things felt better than it sounded, but that was a start. There wasn't as much focus to the sound as I would have liked. 

Practice 2/3/17

Singing for the opera this last week has been an interesting experience. I've been struggling with finding flow phonation in my singing, but once I get into the Morgan, things tend to slowly fall into place the longer I'm singing. It feels like I'm singing with more energy, and normally, I would be worried that I'm singing with too much "effort," but by the end of the night, I feel vocally fine, like I could continue singing for a while even after the show is over. 

I'm working finding the balance between not hyper-adducting the vocal folds and getting too "fuzzy" or "leaky" with the breath flow. 

• Even if you don't know how/why something happened, just try and keep a clear snapshot of what that sensation is like. Have knowledge of result and trust it. Find it by asking for it. 
• anchor the larynx down with the shoulders
• "shopping" and thinking of the tone following the direction of the airflow for "sh" and floating on top of it. 
• Start sitting so it's easier to find a lower breath gesture. 
• Lesson 2/19/16: plug ears. 
• Pay attention the flow of air as you plug your ears
• "yes" or [j] to help with root of tongue
• "oh my baby" instead of "I ate pancakes"
• [a] mouth and [e] tongue. 
• Lesson 7/18/16
• use [gei dei gei dei] with the [g] and [d] consonants to train the breath gesture and find more focus in the fuzzy sound. 
• [fi fe] is another way to do this, along with "shopping" 
• really think about the "arch" when you descend. You're not just going straight down. 
• At this point, after doing about 35-40 minutes of vocal warm-up/alignment, I feel like things below C5 feel really good, but it's done in a way that isn't optimal for anything above C5, like there's a ceiling to the pitch and I can't get any higher. 
• Think of "elevator 2"
• Thumbs in back molars
• Whoa!! You really need to stretch this, Em. You close down a lot. 
• Also; my lips feel like they're being stretched too? Not the skin, but the muscle in the lips? It's so weird. 
• [nim nem nam nom num] 
• Remember, completely release the mouth; just the tongue should be in the closed vowel position
• internal smile; watch out for the frown in the corners of the mouth
• This helped a little bit, and keeping my ears plugged helped with some of it. Struggling with the open vowels quite a bit; they tend to want to fall way back. 
• Think "opposite": the [a o u] are forward...
• All vowels are on the top surface of the tongue, not the body of the tongue. If that makes sense. It's top layer of the blade of the tongue. Just the surface of it. 
• Watch that you sternum doesn't move all over the place. I don't feel very stable in my own body right now. 

Overall, just a little frustrated that it's been taking me this long to find alignment in my voice, but I feel like I have more direction as to how to eventually get there on my own. Gotta watch out that I don't wear out my voice trying to find release, though. 

Practice 1/20/17

Lesson 2/26/16. Refluxed pretty hard last night. Intense burning/dryness in the throat.

• Be aware of things moving, but don't try and make things move a certain way or make them be still. 
• move your head around as you vocalize
• trying "Serenity" essential oils....
• joyful face!
• dance around! Enjoy yourself! Move your body so you don't do any weird "preset" things before singing. 
• Don't actively try and make a certain sound; just let it come out. Have fun with it.

Lesson 4/22/16

• Take note of my healthy speech voice before the lesson...
• Really really scrunch up the face for "ringing"; feel the roundness of the cheek get sore
• Watch what you really like and think "like that." 
• As you descend; don't get lazy with the resonance. 
• Breathe in with an idea; like you're getting an idea/thinking
• watch punting
• Don't fill up all the way and let the pitch just happen. YOU HAVE TO TRUST IT. Trust that you don't need the air to push the tone out. Just let the tone fall out. You don't need to squeeze in the abdomen and punt it. 
• inhaling as you prepare will help prevent that collapse in the ribs/abs.
• Let the jaw do what it wants; don't push it forward or back. 
• chewy in the back molars; chewing the space

Practice and Lesson 1/19/17

• dumb face, genius eyes
• watch that you don't overfill (watch subglottal pressure; it's always there, but you shouldn't be aware of it/be able to feel it)
• up on all upper teeth
• think of "skinny" sound as you ascend. Like | | 
• in roof of mouth
• breath energy = readiness in the body. 
• gesture of the inhale

Practice 1/17/17

Lessons 2/26/16, 1/14/15, 11/20/14

• more focused resonance does not mean pushing in the breath pressure. 
• unimportant mouth
• breath is riding the top of the teardrop
• palatoglossus muscle in tongue is attached to soft palate; stiffness in tongue = stiffness/droopy soft palate. 
• find pocket of space directly above the top back molars. 
• cat hairball
• lighten as you ascend
• [a] in throat/jaw

Practice 1/18/17

Lesson 11/20/14

Not much to say here, but I'm going to put down this problem in the event that Cindy comes across it.

Throat feels really open and released, but now it feels like my tongue is falling into my throat and everything is getting swallowed, especially my open vowels. This is something that has kept coming back to bite me in the butt, and I don't know how to fix it.

Been trying [ng] or [g/k] exercises because it feels like the heel of the tongue is falling back.
Lion breath/panting, and hairball
Lean forward and let gravity bring the tongue out of the throat

Practice 1/16/17 and OSU Audition

Okay. This is going to be a long post. Here's a recap of these last couple of days: I've been struggling really hard this last month with some crazy root-of-the-tongue tension and a lazy soft palate. It feels like there's lack of coordination between my folds coming together and my breathing mechanism, and as a result, it feels like I can only sing 1.5 measures before feeling completely winded. It almost feels as though I'm hyperventilating because I can't seem to get enough air.

There's also been this feeling of "stuffiness" in my nasal resonance, as if I'm singing with a stuffy nose, and as a result, it feels like my resonance is muffled. I've spent the last couple of days also stretching out the root of my tongue by sticking out my tongue as far as I can and lifting my chin and moving my head from side to side to stretch it out. It's extremely tight, and as a result, this stretch is slightly uncomfortable.

****

When I went to OSU, I was still struggling with these issues, and after my performance in VRH on Tuesday, I felt like I was going to bomb my audition. I left Utah at midnight and arrived in OSU at 8:15 a.m., getting a total of 2-3 hours of sleep before my audition. In my warm-ups preceding my audition, my voice very extremely edgy, like rubbing sandpaper together, but after some panic-practice, my voice sort of fell into place and I was able to fake through my audition from a vocal perspective. I think my performance (besides the vocal technique) was good, and I didn't have that panicky breath problem during "Must the winter come so soon." I started with the Rachmaninoff, followed by "Que fais-tu," then the Vanessa. I would give myself a 6.5 or 7/10 for that audition, with 10 being the best-case scenario with me performing at my highest potential.

By the end of the day, my voice was shot, and I'm not sure if it was because of sleep-deprivation, bad technique, or both. Regardless, I ended up sleeping for more than twelve hours that night because of my lack of sleep the nights before.

****

When I got home, I took a day to rest my voice and my body because I was so exhausted. My voice was pretty fatigued the day after my audition, so I decided to take things easy. Even so, when I resumed my practice the day after that, I still was plagued with intense tongue tension that felt like my tongue was cramping in the back.

*****

Today, I finally gave in and had the idea to pull out my earplugs and spend my entire practice, from start to finish, with my ears plugged. I spent 2 hours slowly aligning my voice by following old lessons (1/28/15, 1/14/15, 2/26/16, and 11/4/15), focusing on releasing tensions, not trying to make a certain sound. I managed to find a significant amount of release compared to these previous weeks, but my resonance is still a little off, I think. However, I think I'm discovering a slightly different resonance? that sounds more muffled when I take my earplugs out, but it feels a little easier to ascend and move throughout my range.

I think I'm going to spend these next couple of days finding release before focusing in on my resonance. I need to quit trying to jump the gun and take my time.

Practice 1/11/17

Running off of 4.5 hours of sleep. As usual. Also, since last night, I've felt a bit of chest congestion/urge to cough with some phlegm coming up. However, I can immediately feel that my soft palate is lighter than the beginning of yesterday.

• Lesson 12/2/16 (because this was also a sleep-deprived lesson)
• Back panting + release in area right next to upper molars. 
• It feels like a soft ball that rests just behind the arch of the tongue. If that makes sense
• also, don't think too far back. Look inside and see what your throat looks like. Don't try and make it deeper than it is. Just let it be. 
• Sneezing sensation. 
• Everything external is soft, with internal smile!
• LOOK and be aware of the space that you want, but don't make it. 
• you'll feel it in the way the cool air touches the top outer edges of the mouth when you inhale. AGAIN, DO NOT make the space. Just look for it!
• Seem to want to default to swallowing [a], and default to closing jaw for [i]. 
• "raj-aj-aj-king"
• perhaps think [ae] instead of [a]
• experiment with diphthongs. 
• Watch breath; the whole body is resonating, so the whole body needs to be released. 
• top-down release. If the soft palate is up and released, the tongue and jaw are much easier to follow suit. 
• The jaw (tip) is DEAD when you ascending. THINK. 
• ~37 minutes. 

Practice 1/10/17

UPDATE 2: OKAY. So, I got desperate, and I decided to do some late night practicing because I knew that there had to be something that I could do to get out of this funk. After VRH, I will admit that I went into panic mode because my performance was far from what I needed it to be.

I started practicing again, and to be honest, this time whenever I sang, it felt like I just couldn't get enough air since it was all just leaking out of my body ("snowplowing") and I couldn't seem to stop. I wondered if it was because I had lost some weight recently and I couldn't get into my body, but a part of me didn't quite believe that. I spent a good amount of time listening to my favorite artists, but it just didn't seem to be translating well into my own body. That's when I got the idea to listen to my audition recordings, where I felt I had a pretty good sense of what I wanted. I thought about breath and how I sing when I'm sick. I thought that I usually sing better when I'm sick because perhaps I focused more on breath and diverting the pressure away from the folds, but that only made me tight in my chest no matter how much time I spent on it.

After listening to my recording of "Must the winter come so soon," I noticed on some of my high notes that there was a feeling of spaciousness? in the back that I had been missing, and hearing my own voice sing it made it really easy to translate into my body, and my body remembered almost immediately what it felt like to have a high soft palate. It felt like the area by my upper molars just lifted and the soft palate all of a sudden became weightless. Just that one element changed EVERYTHING. All of a sudden, my breath was easy to manage, my jaw followed suit, and singing became so easy that I almost started crying. It's amazing how big of a difference the soft palate can make in your singing. At first, things were a little shaky and it was difficult for me to sustain that high soft palate position, but the more I eased into it by singing pieces like "Meine Liebe" or "L'attente," the more I was able to remember how it felt and soon I had no trouble singing with a high soft palate 95% of the time. WOOHOO. Hopefully my body will remember this tomorrow morning when I go to practice.

TL;DR SOFT PALATE IS EVERYTHING.

*******

UPDATE: Sang for VRH. It was horrendous. I couldn't seem to get out of my throat, and my soft palate felt like it was blocking my nasal cavity, and as a result, there were a lot of pitch problems, and my vibrato felt like it was just falling into my stomach. It was not good at all. However, when I went to opera rehearsal, I was able to loosen up a bit, and my jaw wasn't as tense since I had to sing over an orchestra. Still not as free as I would like it to be.

**********

Woke up with some acid reflux and phlegm. Did some warm ups with 1/28/15. Still have some edginess in my voice/excessive airiness that I can't seem to balance out. I feel significantly less tense than I had this last weekend, but I just can't seem to figure out how to get the sound out of my throat. I can feel the folds coming together, rather than having the sound just "appear."

When I'm too airy, I can't get the sound to focus, and it feels airy at the source (the folds). When I try to get out of there, my vibrato getting beat-y and my folds feel like they're pressing together. I'm kind of struggling to find a happy medium.

• Lesson 9/11/16
• Lesson 2/26/16
• try to find focus in the sound; less "snow plow" air
• "you too"
• THINK of the SPACE that you want. Don't make it, but look for it.
• back molar "c" jaw opening. internal smile
• think of cold air against roof of mouth
• think of small point in the hard palate
• "happy eyes"
• Maybe think of just using the very very edge of the folds? Think hugging the fat man. 
• "beep" exercise
• thinking this way forces you to lighten up and use less of the "body" of the folds. The feeling of pressing is diminishing.
• just watch that you don't jam your jaw down. Think of gently (?) hugging the fat man with the pharynx and outer edges of the tongue. 
• Think of the onset of the pitch/word being outside of you, not at the folds
• Don't just think "release/relax." It has to be release from a place. Energized, not blah. 
• Back to Lesson 9/11/16
• REALLY close to yawn
• plug ears
• THINK. Focus on the good. 
• Lesson 12/2/16
• Use the whole body as a resonator

Left feeling okay, but shaky. It was better than before, but it didn't feel sustainable. 

Practice 1/9/17

• Lesson 1/28/15
• Find ease in the body/breath before anything!!
• Watch breath pressurization on upward leaps
• You know your breathing is released when you don't have to think about how much air to take in. THINK --> Sing. NOT think --> breathe --> sing. Think/breathe are one and the same. 
• Doing the "blip blip" exercise in quick succession really helped me to release into the breath without having to force myself to breathe a certain way. Air comes in and leaves naturally. 
• Watch that you abdomen doesn't punch inward upon initial start of sound/onset. 
• Once you have the onset down, let the sound spin after that. The larynx can regulate airflow much easier if the onset is correct. Takes no effort. 
• Let the air travel up the back of the pharynx, like a snake is sliding up the back of your throat. (Sounds weird, but the imagery works for me.) 
• Think opposite for vowels (i.e. a/o/u are forward)
• Watch descending phrases; don't get lazy. 
• watch your shoulders. They tend to go up towards the ears
• ~26 minutes (Woohoo! Improved from my 1.5 hours of yesterday.....) 
• Watch that you don't get lazy with the back molars! Don't think frown! Think SMILE

Practice 1/8/17

Started this morning feeling significantly more released. I didn't have to sing to know that my voice was feeling much better today. However, there was still a significant amount of edginess in my voice that I've been struggling to get rid of. I followed yesterday's lesson, and that helped me a lot with getting my breathing technique a little more under control. To help with the edginess, I decided to re-listen to the 1/28/15 lesson because I remembered this lesson being particularly helpful with this. The panting exercises really help me to release. I also think it somehow helps me to cue the soft palate to be in a higher place without me having to "force" it into place, and that helped. Besides that, I don't have very many notes. I spent a good 1 hr 20 min. trying to realign the voice. 

• Lesson 1/7/17
• Start with focus on breathing
• on swooping [i] exercise, tongue is fat and almost overflowing over bottom front teeth. 
• Allow the head to loll into different directions. 
• Lesson 1/28/15

Lesson and Practice 1/7/17

I preceded this lesson by warming up with my 4/14/14 Lesson recording like yesterday. I warmed up for about 30 minutes at 11:00 am before my lesson at noon. At this point, I'm wondering if my new exercise regimen has something to do with my breathing technique and jaw tension. I've been doing light cardio for the past couple of weeks (~30 min. 3-5 days a week). 

I've sort of been feeling like my vocal tension dysphonia is just on the verge of becoming "bad" these last couple of weeks. Signs/symptoms that I typically notice:

• root of the tongue gets unusually tight
• I can't seem to release my jaw
• I can't help but spread the corners of my mouth and make things shallow. (It becomes my default.) 
• Even my low feels "beaty" or like the folds are coming together violently. The folds feel like they are pressing really hard together, resulting in quick vocal fatigue. 
• It feels like I've done everything possible to try and release, but I can't seem to figure out what is wrong. 

Take-aways:

• Think of vocal tension dysphonia as a "charlie-horse" cramp. Stretch it out. Exaggerate. 
• Feeling of suspension/singing on the gesture of the inhale/etc. from the bra-line down. Release everything above. 
• Begin the gesture of singing while the expansion in the lower body for inhalation is still happening. 
• Sometimes trying to be "quiet" or too careful doesn't work when trying to get rid of muscle tension dysphonia. 

Lesson Summary: (For practice, I started leaning forward on a chair...) 

• "puffy lips straw" phonation. (looks like a chimpanzee) 
• flip to the top pitch. Don't drag up. 
• "yawning, yelling yodeling" 
• molars stretched by opposing forces
• Use a bit of wiggling
• "I'm mighty" 
• Watch upward travel 
• listen to Cindy's model 
• "I'm Mary"
• "I'm Mabel/Mayree" 
• Watch that you don't add unnecessary pressure before the top pitch
• "ya ya"
• outward push from behind sternum
• eliminate unnecessary sostenuto 
• "why not"
• take pressure off during the middle range of voice
• "thee" flip ups/decay exercises
• "ng - m - n" 
• Always be conscious of jaw/tongue. Use the down to the shoulders from under the jaw sides. 
• really concentrate the nasal consonants. 
• "hng - nm - uiuiuiuiui- a"
• "n - n - n - a"
• think of buoyancy 
• exaggerate mouth opening during "n" (you can see the tongue behind top teeth) 
• "a - a- a- a- choo" pharynx
• Think of the top pitch before singing it
• "in the end"
• Take your time. 
• Think of your breath. 
• Think and sing--breath just happens with it. 
• Breath is coming in through the ears.
• [thi thi thi] 
• cheek massage
• sound is falling out of mouth to floor. The sound may come out of the upper cheeks than the mouth. 
• I'm noticing a tendency to lock my jaw.
• Alternate posture. Take a seat and lean forward with elbows on knees. 
• "Things are different in our bodies, but subtly so, so we tend to think something is wrong with our voice. That's not necessarily the case." When tensions are small, it's difficult to tell where it's coming from. 
• "Go to the body always--just notice the breath more." Especially when life gets stressful. 
• "oh why" on non-descript swooping. 
• think whiny 
• "my oh my" 
• watch that you don't brace with the body or the face!!! 
• "teeth"
• good release supra-laryngeally, but maintain sense of suspension below the bra line. 
• Don't release the energy with the air.... 
• Like the hamster wheel analogy. Keep the hamster below the bra line!
• Really think about this. Also, think of tracheal tug while maintaining release in the jaw. 
• "sigh" 
• encourage feeling of yawn as you do this. 
• Emily. Open your eyes. Don't squeeze them shut. What are you doing. 
• "what a day" (no kidding...)
• not going for volume. Absence of pressure + clarity. 
• "sobby" onset. 
• Watch your ears--you tend to tighten the muscle behind them and it's exhausting... (I know, right? Weird, Emily. Weird.)
• TRUST that you can sing it completely released. 
• "zi zi zieaouoaei"
• Watch that you don't come off your voice on the darker vowels. 
• internal grin!
• "zi" 
• show your top teeth
• Less singy. Just "cry" mode. 
• Don't get lazy as you descend! 
• try different head positions to stretch things out
• Don't try to sing soft, but you can sing lightly. 
• "why not"
• grandpa death rattle
• as you stretch, allow the tongue to be the occlusion. Not the throat. 
• "yawning, yelling, yodeling"
• concentrate the "ng"
• "Take a breath and let your voice fall on it, like a cushion."
• Focus on the "point of appoggio" - where there is the most resistance against the breath. 
• "caring"
• use the [k] 
• breathe low, and while you're still expanding, release the [k] while maintaining suspension. 
• also try not filling up as much as you can--try 2/3. Don't overfill. 
• I DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS IDEA CAME FROM, BUT THIS HELPED A LOT. 
• long cheeks

We spent about an hour trying to get me released. And my practice session after that took about the same amount of time. 

Practice 1/6/17

I'm back in Logan, and it's... very cold. Has it always been this cold? I feel like -20 degrees is a little excessive...

I've been struggling with having a really heavy vibrato that seems to want to stay in my throat. I get vocally tired easily, and it's been really annoying, but I wasn't quite sure how to approach it. I knew it had something to do with trying too hard with my soft palate and the root of my tongue. Once I got home to Logan, I was able to access really old voice lessons, and that helped quite a bit to change up the routine.

• Lesson 4/14/14 (I know... it's old) 
• on "fi fe fi" jaw gently back (from "sh" positioning) 
• "sh" is gentle as well in "shopping"
• LIGHTEN UP. You're pushing down with something (jaw or tongue...) 
• Focus solely on descending exercises
• Don't pull back with corners of mouth

The first couple of exercises (~first 12 minutes of the recording) were most helpful, and I was able to get out of my throat, but as soon as I went on to the next exercise, my voice went right back to where it was before, so I repeated those first couple of exercises a couple more times to get it in my body. I then followed along according to the recording. 

• Watch shoulders tensing
• Much more forward than you want it to be 
• Once you've found release, if it's still "edgy," try opening up a little more. 

I don't know what it is about singing at my apartment vs. my parents' house, because I always seem to do better when I'm in Logan. I feel much better. There is still definitely some lingering tensions, but I'm not vocally exhausted, which is nice. 

Practice 1/1 and 1/3/2017

Happy New Year!!! WOO-HOO! Hopefully I can stay on top of these next four months. It's gonna be crazy.

I've been struggling with the root of my tongue lately. It's been feeling a little stiff and heavy, and when I ascend in pitch, I have a tendency to stiffen my jaw and brace. I've been working on that for the last couple of days, and it's been kicking my trash a bit.

• Lesson 8/24/16
• Jaw down and back
• Don't push down with the jaw
• "gai lai" really helps
• light/easy
• try going crazy with the head and face to loosen up. 
• Focus on single point in head when ascending. Closing the vowel helps
• Don't push with the breath. Anchor. 
• For the double octave jumps, the only thing that changes is where the sound is vibrating. It feels like nothing moves/changes, except there's a feeling of activity/vibration? in the front of the face vs. in the lower part of the range. 
• Don't brace with the jaw/root of the tongue
• plug ears for a bit.