Practice 9/11/17

Lesson 2/7/17 x2

Middle voice is worst. Tension of tongue around larynx is sore. Feels like a veil is on my sound.
In my attempt to figure out what I could possibly be doing, I read over old practice blogs. I had tagged some of the more recent ones with conditions that I was feeling (Tongue Tension, Breathing, etc.), and I decided to read over my blog for 2/7 and 2/8/17. This helped so much; it helped me to find what worked for me in the past. Super grateful that I have these to look back on.

• "hmmm" hum through nose really helped to release tongue. 
• Do not MAKE sound. 
• Feel like the hum is between the eyes. Think more "nose sound," rather than singing through nose. 
• Chewy. 
• Really pay attention to the things Cindy has to say here. I didn't write everything down in this blog, because everything was very helpful. 

After about an hour, I figured out some sort of release that allowed me to sing without feeling like I was trapped in my own body/throat. The tension was so bad that I thought something must be wrong, but it was just tension. I have to reestablish that feeling of release in my body now, because it (sadly) feels a little foreign since it's been so long. 

Practice 9/10/17

Lesson 7/2/16

earplugs

• Think "sob", but watch (internal) frown. (Helps breath)
• [u i, o e] in same space for vowels. 
• Don't be "careful"
• sing before you finish inhalation 
• ("ya ya" --> "(a)yaya")
• Don't move too early to consonant. 

Gave up about an hour in. Tongue is almost sore from being so tight. I'll come back to it with a fresh mind tomorrow. I have been trying so many different ideas, but I think I just need to mix things up and surprise myself at this point. I know I'm overthinking something, but I'm not sure what. But I KNOW it has to do with my tongue. I'm trying too hard to make a physical thing happen, which I know is something I shouldn't be doing. I just need to convince my body to trust me. 

Practice 9/8/17

Lesson 7/18/16

The throat/pharynx below the jaw is REALLY tight. Almost feels like beginnings of vocal tension dys. again.

• Try imagining the root of the tongue isn't connected to anything: There's not any constriction of space surrounding the tongue. 
• Low voice/middle has been the worst. Really tight. Tongue tension has been really bad. Feels like a curtain over the voice (which sounds alarming, but I'm pretty sure it's just really bad tongue tension.....). Feels like everything is stuck in the throat. 

Practice 9/1/17

9:45 AM

Some residual phlegm on folds, but I think that's just dehydration. Causing some scratch in sound.

• Start low (no higher than G4)
• taking concepts from Lesson 8/31/17:
• gently release soft palate upwards; key is gentle
• be aware of root of tongue and tip of tongue
• watch [i] for purity, as well as [u]
• stay ground (use whip/belt/rope for pulling)
• be patient. start quietly.
• watch chin, and temporal muscles.
• gentle panting for scrape-y onsets
• sometimes thinking about tongue is too much; so think release space between molars AND front canines (so sound doesn't fall back)
• on [i]: release blade of tongue.
• back molars release (of both palates... hard/soft)
• experiment with different vowel order/patterns

Still some interference in larynx. Perhaps tongue? (Probably tongue.)

Lesson 2/28/17 + Practice 3/1/17

Lesson 2/26/16 Warm-up. Began with some airiness in the tone. (That tends to be my default.)

• Don't be afraid to have space between molars
• A-O joint release
• release tip of the tongue
• horizontal release of the tongue
• take "complete" breaths

An observation during my warm-ups: because of the acoustic nature of the practice room, I think have a tendency to want to make a particular sound, rather than letting it happen. That may contribute to some of my tension, especially compared to how I like the acoustics in Dallas' office. 

Lesson 2/28/17

• "bap bap bap" 54321
• released lips
• slowly increase the length of the vowel. 
• "ringing ringing ring" 123454321
• "play me" 8531358531
• fully stop the air before continuing
• Don't let go of the air; there should be a sense of "continuity," rather than a change of pressure. 
• loud vs. concentrated
• let the "l" cue your tongue tip to release
• "if your tongue wasn't held down by fibers, it'd fall out of your face." 
• Imagine the plosive "p" exploding inward to prevent "letting go" of the air. 
• Your breath should build your instrument. 
• You don't have to sustain the final pitch; you're unnecessarily using voice. 
• Watch your shoulders/collarbones.... 
• [fi fe] 123454321
• sob
• [a e o e a] 1353-135853-13583-8531. 
• stretch
• Watch that the breath doesn't get frantic, even from the very beginning. 
• Again, watch the collarbone (wide) and released shoulders
• vowel change on the inside
• "I I I--- don't know" 5-4-3-2-1358531
• sob/whine
• Keep top lip completely soft/released. 
• Happy/quiet/"ah" inhale
• No horizontal spreading of the lips
• 1358531 
• Exaggerated released tongue: tip never leaves the bottom teeth
• "when I went to bed" 54321
• "Donatella's dead"
• "slender"/sob
• Don't "make" depth. Just allow it to happen. 
• "Randy never tells"
• "Danny never lies"
• mp

Really focus on the breathing technique. If you take a "quick" breath and you can hear it, that means a) you need to take more time, b) you're likely not "happy" or "ah" enough!!

Practice 2/7 and 2/8/17

Last night: I spent another ~2.5 hours in the practice room. I went in with the intention of only doing 30 minutes, but next thing I knew it was past midnight by the time I left. Anyways, I spent a lot of time working on what we did in my lesson that day, trying to find release while working on the feeling of suspension. I got pretty frustrated about halfway through because I felt like I couldn't release into a fuller sound without my vibrato getting very beaty, but I tried really hard not to push with the breath and get impatient. I took a small break, and after listening to a recording from the MET with Kristine Opolais (whom I normally am not a huge fan of), something sympathetically released and I was able to sing almost as freely as I had when I had auditioned for USC. It just took me 1.5 hours to get there.... What's also frustrating is that I feel like whenever I find this released singing, I don't know how or why it happened, so it feels like a lot of luck is involved, and that drives me crazy because I feel like I can't replicate it. But I guess the only thing I can do is try to recreate the circumstances in which that happened.

****

Started out the day with sticky mucus.

• Lesson 2/7/17
• don't overfill with the breath; if anything, it helps if you feel only half full. 
• "jaw recedes"
• listen to MET instagram Rusalka with Kristine Opalais; something about how open her sound is (even if it's a little breathy) helped me to open up
• watch tongue tip
• "nyam" get really chewy with it once you've figured things out
• really really fat tongue!
• "um yawning is a welcome change" 
• "many" with yawn. (I actually loathe this exercise with a fiery passion.) 
• "sob"
• watch that the pharynx above the mouth doesn't close up
• Be very very patient with the breath
• consistent breath flow
• After about an hour of warm up, I feel released; I just feel like my breath isn't as efficient (flow phonation) as it could be. Otherwise, I feel much more released than I did a couple days ago. 
• leaning upper back against the wall helps

By the end of my practice session (~1 hr. 15 min) I felt like I had found release, but there was inefficient airflow, so it felt like I could only sing two measures at a time. I started experimenting with the suspension feelings before I had to leave. 

Practice 2/6/17

Root of tongue was horrendously tight this morning. Last night, I tried doing more quiet exercises to avoid my tendency to want to push with the air, as well as to help find the edge of the folds in my onsets. However, I think that led to some unnecessary tensions that I only caught towards the end of my practice when my tongue felt tired. 

Use Lessons 2/26/16, 10/10/16, and 2/5/16

• Spent about an hour trying to find release in the tongue when I finally just gave up. The most pervasive issue I am experiencing on a regular basis is the sensation that there's a ceiling on my pitch; it feels like it's a struggle to get anywhere above C5. I was hoping that by spending most of my time in the lower part of my range, where I'm least likely to tighten, I could use that as a model behavior, but I continued to struggle. 
• Then experienced some weird glottal scrape/vocal flutters? that are really obnoxious and sometimes disconcerting. 
• Trying to find release in the body, not just the area surrounding the larynx. 
• Did a lot of "achoo" things, because it feels like my nasal resonance is inaccessible. (probably contributing to the "ceiling" sensation)
• When plugging ears: any sensation/sound of edginess on the inside = tension on the outside. Don't try and make it higher than it needs to be. That can lead to tongue tension.
• Pay attention to the shape of the space and "softness" of the space inside; don't think of trying to make parts move or not move. 

Gave up and started singing "Cruda sorte" and things kind of just fell into place. Don't know what happened. I had my ears plugged. Things felt better than it sounded, but that was a start. There wasn't as much focus to the sound as I would have liked. 

Practice 1/18/17

Lesson 11/20/14

Not much to say here, but I'm going to put down this problem in the event that Cindy comes across it.

Throat feels really open and released, but now it feels like my tongue is falling into my throat and everything is getting swallowed, especially my open vowels. This is something that has kept coming back to bite me in the butt, and I don't know how to fix it.

Been trying [ng] or [g/k] exercises because it feels like the heel of the tongue is falling back.
Lion breath/panting, and hairball
Lean forward and let gravity bring the tongue out of the throat