Practice 9/27/16

So, last night, I went back to the practice room and basically went at it until I couldn't anymore. My voice was pretty tired by the end of it all (what can I say, I was stress-singing, and it wasn't very healthy, I'll admit), but by the end of the practice, I realized that I had been holding my breath back in an attempt to prevent punting, and that led to some excess tensions in my singing. Rather than letting the air out and giving permission to the folds to regulate the air, I think I was closing up somewhere to slow it down.

That being said, I've been having difficulty with my breathing these last couple of days; it just feels like I'm always out of breath.

• I started this practice session on easy lip trills, allowing my breath to release as much as it wanted to. 
• Allow the breath to open you up. 
• I spent the first half of my practice sitting and leaning forward against the piano to open the back and pay attention to how the ribs expand in the back as I inhale and exhale. 
• "please" 54321 Allow the [p] to be plosive, and let the air out (but don't be lazy). 
• Thinking "pant" or "about to sneeze" for inhalation helps not to go too crazy with the inhale gesture and overfill. 
• I was really tired, so I spent some time on the floor to focus on breathing and releasing my entire body, especially my neck and back. I followed along with the 2/26/16 lesson, and worked on speech-like approach to vocal onset. 

My voice still feels pretty "beaty" and heavy. I'm really really trying to stay positive here, but it's a bit of a struggle.

*************
UPDATE:

Okay. I sang for master class today in the hopes of figuring out what was wrong. Dr. Hood essentially told me the same thing--that my support system (aka my breath) was lacking. And he was definitely right. After the masterclass, I did some lip trills while trilling the music, and I noticed inconsistencies in my breathflow even at that stage. Figuring out how to fix it though, was another story. We got a couple good moments during the class, but I still struggled a lot. (Even so, I was surprised to find that most people didn't notice how much I was struggling to phonate in class today.)

By the end of the day, my voice felt raw. After opera rehearsal, I was exhausted. I felt like I had been singing through a brick wall all day. It feels as if my folds are just slamming shut and wouldn't let any air through when I go to sing. It reminds me a lot of when my vocal tension dysphonia gets bad. After having thoroughly beat up my voice today, I've decided to really focus on getting enough rest and food. I'm absolutely exhausted, and I have been since the moment I woke up today. I literally fell asleep in my yoga class five times whenever we went to hold a pose.

Not gonna lie, I'm still pretty frustrated at myself (what's new). My singing felt great on Friday--it was nice and free, and open, and there was nothing frantic about it. Now it feels like it never happened. My voice now feels worse than before, which is saying something.

That being said, I'm going to bed. Now. I'm going to put off my homework and do it some other time, because I think a lot of the vocal tensions I have are simply from being worn down physically, not just vocally. Here's to a better day tomorrow....