Practice 6/30/16

I spent quite a bit of time last night re-reading through Oren Brown's Discover Your Voice, and focused particularly on the areas that referenced primal sound, release before vocalizing, and breathing.

I did the exercises for release and breathing, and spent about 20 minutes just finding release in my body. I spent another 10 minutes lightly warming up and focusing on released onsets. I slowly transitioned into my music, attempting to replicate the results I was getting in my first couple minutes. For the first 15 minutes of practice, things were going pretty well, and I was really taking things slowly. My voice wasn't getting tired or fatigued, especially since I was focusing really hard on eliciting pitch and taking time to really think before I sang a note.

Even so, after those 15 minutes, my voice again started to get that weird "tired" sound to it, as if I've been speaking for too long. Slightly fuzzy, and I can't quite access my low as well again. Pretty frustrating to end up in the same place, even though I started out so well. I'm pretty excited for my lesson this weekend so I can discuss with Cindy what isn't going so well. Because I've been trying a lot of things and experimenting, but I can't seem to quite pinpoint what isn't working.

Even though my voice ended up in a place that I would have preferred not to be in, it was much easier accessing my higher register today than yesterday and the day before. So that gives me some hope that perhaps I'm getting closer to figuring things out.

Practice 6/29/16

Followed along with 4/22/16 Lesson.

There's still some edginess in my voice, but since I've released my jaw a little more and am focusing on balancing the whole body (no localized effort), it's gotten a bit better.

• consistent/generous airflow, but no punting. 
• Think of the mouth as not in any specific shape; it's just there. 
• I have a tendency to "overcharge" with my air; so try singing at a random point in the breath gesture. Or blow a puff out before singing. 
• THINK before you sing. 

My warm up felt better today, but when I went to go and sing, my old habits started punching me figuratively in the throat. Everything still feels really effortful and "punchy" and edgy. The sound seems strident to me, and it's really obnoxious. Towards the end of my practice, I thought to sing with just the "edges of my folds" to maybe release some excess squeezing (from being to forceful with bringing my folds together). However, by the time I thought of this, it was time to give the poor voice a rest. I'm trying to experiment with different approaches, but I still get fatigued. I feel like I've taken several steps back in terms of my progress..... 

Practice 6/28/16

My sleep schedule is completely thrown since coming back to Korea, and I can't seem to get onto a regular schedule. So I pulled an all-nighter last night and didn't sleep~ Woohoo

I was watching my cat (as you do when you're a cat owner), and when he yawned, I realized I haven't been releasing my jaw very well in my practice. (Weird place to get a revelation, but I'll take it.) So I experimented with that, careful not to jam my jaw down but to allow more space between the back molars. This helped a lot, and even though my voice still got a little fatigued (it's driving me a little bonkers), it was better than it's been the last couple days.

I also focused on singing on the motion of the inhale, and keeping this in mind helps me to prevent "punting" my air whenever there's a small/large jump in pitch.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I forgot to "focus on the good," so I'll try and implement that into later practice.

I'm realizing that, in my attempt to find the "model" behavior, I get scared of making mistakes because I'm so paranoid of practicing the wrong thing. I need to figure out the difference between being impatient and being open to experimentation.

Because these last couple days have been a bit less than ideal in terms of practice, I'm observing a lot of fear in myself as I approach practice. I'm scared of practicing incorrectly (mostly because I get immediate negative results--a tired voice), rather than getting excited to try new things. I need to take some time before practicing to get into the correct mindset, which is honestly the hardest part of practice, and I guess I just needed to remind myself of that.

Practice 6/26/16

Had some pretty bad acid reflux this morning, so swelling is definitely a thing.
Also, I got a bit of a reminder this morning to "focus on the good" when I read this week's article from Noa Kageyama in his weekly email for the Bulletproof Musician. So I'm going to experiment with that some more in my practice today.

• focus on the good
• start vocalizes with your mouth closed--I'm noticing that I'm presetting some weird things in my tongue when I start singing. 
• Also, divert breath pressure away from the glottis
• space in molars + open throat (including the upper pharynx)
• "many" 132435465768798-319786756453421. 
• watch that you don't add an extra "puff" of air when you skip up the third. Think of the folds stretching instead. 
• The tongue doesn't make any huge shifts; it stays fat
• [zi ze za] 12345432-12345432-12345678987654321
• Lighten in the passaggio, and during [a], think a little [o] as you ascend through passaggio. 

I spent about 50 minutes on warm up. I still ended up getting that weird "tired voice" feeling, but it doesn't feel as uncomfortable as yesterday since I was careful not to push myself. Still, my sound seems shallow/airy, and when it gets to that point, that's when this tired thing comes in. Then I can't access my chest voice very well. And it's frustrating because I don't feel like I'm overexerting my voice, but something isn't coming together well, so I can't access chest voice after a bit of singing. 

Practice 6/25/16

Today I decided to focus more on my precise onset/onset from above, since my problems are probably stemming from something in that area.

• [ng] [n] + vowel exercises 
• light approach to all notes (not to be confused with additional squeezing in the throat to make softer volume)
• panting exercises
• Alternating arpeggio and scale vocalizes. 

I feel like towards the beginning of my vocalizes, things were starting to sort themselves out. However, by the end of my practice, my voice got back into that "easily tired" thing that it does, so I had to stop after about 20 minutes of singing (after ~30 min. warm up). But it was better than yesterday. I think I need to take things in smaller chunks and come back to them more often. 

Practice 6/24/16

11/13/16 Lesson Blog Referenced

• Fat tongue/horizontal
• breath equality
• soft molars

I get the feeling of "shallowness" in my sound, and everything feels slightly edgy. However, I'm trying to figure the balance between allowing space and forcing space. I can feel my voice coming from my throat, and my approach from above isn't as good. 

1/28/16 Lesson Recording

• Panting exercises!
• Think "light!" 
• Allow yourself to soften/lighten as you move from note to note, rather than "full voice." 

I looked through some of my old notes in my practice journal, and found = = vs. = /  , which was to remind me that, as you ascend, you shouldn't be moving the space up (aka larynx rising), but you should think of it as a long tube in which your sound is filling. The idea of an "anchor" comes to mind, but not pushing down the tongue. That seemed to help a little. 

I know I'm not doing something right since my voice is getting tired much faster than expected. For anything above a D5, I feel like there's a lot of sound delay, but it's not due to swelling, as far as I can tell. I probably just need to be more patient for my onsets, but there's something else that I seem to be forgetting, and it feels like it's probably going to be something really basic..... 

Practice 6/23/16

I am back from the motherland (South Korea)! Stayed for three weeks in Seoul. Let me tell you, the air quality there is... less than ideal. But it was fun. I did my best to practice while I was there, but we were so busy the whole time that I didn't get much in.

Coming back, the dryness of the air got to me, and a couple of my higher notes were definitely a bit scratchy/nonexistent. The following day, however, my body seemed to have adjusted and singing was a little easier. There are some tensions in the root of my tongue that have managed to creep back in due to my lack of practice, so I've been working that out. I've been reading over my past practice blogs to remind myself of what I had been working on before I left.

Panting exercises seem to help. Also focusing on precise onsets. Thinking "like that" as I do ascending vocalizes.